A Broken Sigh
by amethystblossom
Summary: Sequel to 'The Entity of Happiness'. Yuki and Zero are finally together. But what happens when a vampire sets his sight on Yuki? Will Zero be able to save her or will it be too late?
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N) I hope this isn't confusing and I hope i'm doing this right. I desided to take ' advise and divide my story up by creating a sequel instead of adding another arc to the story. For those reading this without reading the 'Entity of Happiness' might find it a bit confusing. Just a warning. Read on lovelies.**

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><p><strong>A Broken Sigh<strong>

**Chapter 1- **Enveloped in your embrace

The next day at school I wrapped a scarf around my neck in an attempt to cover the love bite Zero had given me. It didn't seem too suspicious considering it was getting cold enough to wear extra layers anyway. I suspected Yori knew because she winked and blew a mock kiss to me when we met Zero in the morning during breakfast. I roll my eyes at her, she probably saw it when I was sleeping, considering she always woke up some time before me.

We sat together on the table, all three of us. During the meal I kept noticing people giving Zero weird looks, I kept looking at him, but he was acting as he always did; reserved and indifferent. Not any different then he was when he was a vampire. But he looked different, though it was hard to point what exactly that difference was. I felt a surge of happiness for him. He had regreted becoming a vampire, but he was a human now. There was nothing stopping him from being with me. The smile on my face was stuck and I couldn't get rid of it even if I tried. My felt my face glow and I blushed at the smallest things. Maybe it was because Zero and I had made love or just because of Zero. Either way, I was the happiest I have ever been, and i felt this happiness flow within me and it intoxicated me.

I was eating my breakfast, when suddenly I see a hand reach towards my plate and pick a up a grape from my fruit salad. I look up in time to see Zero lean towards me and put the grape into his mouth. I gasp at his proximity, and I see his lips twitch at my reaction. He pulls the tray of food towards him.

'Do you mind sharing?' he asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'N-no,' I stutter, visibly gulping. I see Zero try to control the upturns of his lips. I blush and he reaches for my fork and starts picking at my fruit salad. I reach for the orange juice and drink it. I feel Yori's eyes on me and I look at her, she has a smile and a knowing look on her face. I have an urge to stick my tongue out at her but ignore it. When we finish our breakfast we head for class.

The day passes by as normal as it could be, except for the fact that Zero was more physical with me then ever before. When he passed me in the hallway he would deliberately brush his hands against mine, or during break he had pulled me into an empty classroom, pushed me against the door and kiss me. Every chance he got, I would find his lips on mine. When day classes are over, we both make our way to the night class building. We get there on time, so the night class hasn't come out yet. I try to push the girls back as Zero just stands there manacingly. The night class finally comes out and walk out the gates. When they reach us, all their eyes turn to Zero, he glares back at them, his gaze as ruthless as when he was a vampire.

'It's good to see you better now Kiryuu,' I hear Kaname say, he stands in front of Zero and nods to him, Zero keeps glaring at him so Kaname walks away from him and comes towards me. I stand there, trying to control the screaming girls from going any further, but when Kaname comes near, their screamings die down and they move back a few steps.

'Its good to see you safe Yuki,' Kaname says as he reaches me, a smile on his face, 'I trust Nicholas was in good health.'

I nod to him and smile. 'Thank you for all your help Kaname, I couldn't have done it without you.'

He nods at me, staring intently into my eyes, 'I hope you haven't forgotten what I said to you before.'

I remember the conversation we had had in his room before I had left.

'_I'm not giving up on you Yuki,' he says smiling. I cant help but smile back._

'_I'm don't think you should wait,' I said._

'_I don't want to let you go.'_

I nod to him. 'I haven't forgotten Kaname, though I still think it's a waste of time.'

He smiles at me. 'Yuki, I have all the time in the world.'

I smile at the double meaning in his words before he turns and joins his classmates in the building, the night class still giving Zero incredulous looks.

'What was that about?' Zero asks, coming to my side. His eyes are looking everywhere but at me, his brows furrowed.

'Nothing,' I say, 'I was thanking him for telling me about the cure.'

He nods, the look is still evident in his eyes and I reach my hand up and touch his cheek, bringing his face to mine and kiss his lips.

'You're the only one in my eyes Zero. I see Kaname more as a brother now.'

I can see him visibly relax and I do the same. We spend the rest of the day patrolling and then we go our separate ways to our dorms.

The next three weeks, pass by with the same routine, finally winter descends and the days become shorter and colder. Snow falls and it's harder to perform guardian duty when your wearing a skirt. A few days before Christmas and winter holidays the chairman calls Zero and I to his office.

'Zero, I have your next assignment,' he tells us from behind his desk, while looking through a stack of paper. 'There's a party coming up on Christmas eve, you'll have to attend, there's a vampire that'll be there that I want you to keep an eye on. His name is Usui Takemura. There have been accusations coming in for him by others, crimes that they can't prove. So I need you to go there and see to it that's he's kept in check and doesn't do anything suspicious.'

The chairman hands Zero a file, he nods but doesn't bother opening it. I look at the chairman, obviously angry. I hated it when Zero was sent on these missions, he would mostly leave for a day, but sometimes he would be gone for as long as a week. The whole time I would be sick and anxious with worry. But even so, I never showed Zero that I didn't want him to go, this was his job, and I knew he loved the thrill of it. I stand there looking at the chairman, my glare turning into a questioning look.

'Why did you call me chairman?' I ask, usually they deliberately make sure it was only the two of them when they discussed 'official buissness.' The chairman sighed and leaned back on his chair.

'Yuki, you'll be going with him.'

I feel Zero stiffen beside me and before I can say anything he says, 'No.'

I look to him, his eyes are hard and they don't look to me, but he keeps them on the chairman.

'Zero, the council thinks it's a good idea if we sent a distraction.'

'You mean bait,' I flinch at Zero's tone. He keeps his gaze on the chairman, who sighs and leans forward.

'We know this assignment is hard for you Zero. Usui is a powerful vampire vampire, and if your going to have an inch of hope of going undetected as a spy, you'll need Yuki.'

'Why?' I ask, talking for the first time, the chairman looks to me, his eyes serious but his gaze soft. Zero keeps his eyes on him.

'With your blood Yuki, you could command a whole room of vampires.'

I blink at his words, understanding dawning on me. Zero takes a step towards the desk and places both his hands on the table, 'It's too dangerous,' he says menacingly. The chairman returns his look calmly,

'You think I don't know that? I would never have agreed if it was anyone other then you protecting her.'

They pause for a second looking at each other, 'Now, its Yuki's decision if she wants to go or not.'

He turns to me and Zero moves a fraction of his head towards me, waiting for my answer. I knew I should say no because of the dangers presented in this scenario, but I knew I could help Zero if I went and the thrill and excitement of it made me hasten my decision.

'I'll go,' I say, I hear Zero sigh in frustration before turning his back to us and leaving the room. I look after him then back at the chairman.

'Give him time, he doesn't want to see you get hurt. You understand don't you?' he asks me gently.

I nod. He hands me a file and I open it. I see a photograph of a man walking to a car, holding a beautiful women beside him, his face was turned back, giving him an opening for the perfect shot for the camera. He was beautiful, he had ash-blond hair with piercing green eyes, I could tell without him even looking straight at the camera, a strong jaw and a muscular built. There was a red circle made by a marker over his face.

'He is the one we're targeting, all the information is in the file. If you have any questions just come and ask me. The party will be in three days.'

I nod and bow to him before leaving the room. I start walking to my dorm before I change my mind and make my way to Zero's dorm. When I reach it, a number of boys crowd the front entrance. I wasn't allowed to be here being a girl and what-not so I couldn't go from there. I go around the building but I don't find another way in except for a locked metal door. I walk towards the left of the building where I suspect Zero's room was. Luckily there was a tree there and I had a brilliant idea- brilliant in my standards. I climb up the tree, trying not to fall and make a sound, I hear the boys laugh and joke in the front steps. I'm glad for the distraction of the noise, there is a branch that leads off to Zero's room and I reach for it. The brach is not as strong as the other ones but if I ran really quickly on it and just jumped far enough, then I could make it. I stand and with a deep breath I start to walk slowly, but as the branch starts going down and making a cracking sound, i run two steps before jumping to the window. Unfortunately, it was too far and only my hand is able to reach it and i grab the window-sill. My body is pulled down by gravity and slams into the building before hanging like a limp doll. I try to strengthen my grip on the railing. This was the third floor, I didn't want to fall. I try to pulls myself us, but it felt like picking a ton of bricks. I put my feet against the building to steady myself and tell myself to calm down. Suddnly I feel my strength wane, my hands start losing their energy and I feel them slowly slipping from the rail. My voice is caught. I can't scream. I hear a window open the same time my hands let go of the railing in surprise. I gasp and start to fall. Suddenly a hand grabs hold of mine. I look up to see Zero looking at me. I sigh and my whole being fills with relief. He pulls me up and I put my feet against the building to give myself better leverage. I fall against him when I come through his window. We both sit there breathing hard. I sit up and smile at him, he stands up and glares at me, my smile falls.

'Do you realize how dangerous that was?' he says to me in a whisper.

'I'm sorry, I just wanted to see you,' I say, looking down. He sighs and pats my head walks away.

'Yuki, stop doing such reckless things for me.'

I look up to see him enter his bathroom. I get up and sit on his bed, waiting for him. I'm guess he's still mad. After a while, my eyelids grow heavy and I take off my jacket, my shoes and stockings. I go under the covers of Zero's bed and close my eyes.

I hear a chuckle and then feel myself being pushed. I scoot over to the direction of the push, not opening my eyes. My mind still drunk in sleep. I feel a warmth envelope my body and someones arms wrap around my body, pulling me to theirs. Zero. This one words fills my mind and I turn to him and kiss his chest before snuggling against him.

'I love you Zero,' I say, in a last attempt of consciousnes. I feel him kiss my forehead gently. For some reason, this brings tears to my eyes and one drop down my lids to his shirt. I love him so much


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**- My Guilty Pleasure

I wake up in the morning to the sensation of Zero's hand gently caressing my cheeks. I open my eyes and look straight into his. I smile at him. He starts to smile but then stops as if he's remembered something. He scrowls at me instead. I start to panic.

'What is it?' I ask, my voice hoarse after hours of sleeping.

'You know what you did yesterday was totally reckless, right?' he asks, his eyes angry.

I let out a breath. 'There were boys in the entrance so I couldn't go through there.'

'That doesn't mean you have to climb a tree and almost get yourself killed in the process,' he says, frustrated.

'I'm sorry,' I say, looking down, 'I just wanted to see you,' I whisper the last part. I hear him sigh and pull me into a hug. We sit in silence for a while. I sigh in content. I want to be like this forever, lying in the arms of the one I love.

'Yuki,' Zero calls, pulling away, I look up at him, 'I don't want you to go with me for the mission.'

My eyes turn hard, my gaze doesn't waver from his. 'Zero, I want to go with you.'

He shakes his head, getting up into a sitting position, I do the same.

'Your not going,' he says, looking at me, his gaze hard and intimidateing.

I let out an irritated sigh, not backing down. 'Zero, I'm going with you weather you like it or not. I want to help you as much as I can.'

Zero turns away, but his voice is hard as he says, 'You'll only get in my way.'

My heart drops and my nose twitches as tears form in my eyes. I look down and move the bed covers from my body. Grabing my clothes i had discarded last night and my shoes, I walk to the door, my eyes straight. I hear Zero sigh when I reach the door and call my name.

'Zero, I'm going with you, and I don't need your permission to do it,' I tell him before closing the door.

I stand outside his door for a second, trying to control the anger growing inside me, over-riding the helplessness I feel. Then I start walking towards the exit. I had my clothes in my arms and my naked legs felt cold. I walk towards the stairs and climb down the steps. There guys outside going for an early morning jog. I ignore their whistles and comments and make my way to my dorm. When I get there, I go straight to the bathroom and I take a shower. The rest of the week passes with me avoiding Zero and vice-versa. Though it pained me to see that he was so close but I couldnt talk to him, I was still angry at what he had said. Though I knew he had only acted that way because he had wanted me to be safe, it had hurt. Yori doesn't ask me questions and I don't mention it, not wanting to worry her.

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><p>It's winter break so there's no school. Yori and I go and eat breakfast together. I don't see Zero there but ignore the longing in my heart. I havent talked to him in a week and it's starting to get frustrating. I tell Yori that I had a party to go to at Christmas Eve. She's excited for me and tells me what to do with my hair and makeup. She was leaving the next day to go home to her parents and she felt bad leaving me alone, though she teased me about being alone with Zero now. I still hadn't told her about the fight.<p>

The rest of the day passed with Yori doing some last minute shopping in town where I had accompanied her because I had to get my dress. We would have gone with Mitsuki but she had already returned home for the holidays. Yori picked a deep red strapless dress. I stared at the silky texture of it and went to the dressing room to try it on. It fit like a glove and complimented my slim figure, I knew this was the dress I was buying. It was long and flowed down to my feet. It was simple, yet the color and texture of it demanded attention and made me look elegant and natural. I showed Yori and she practically paid for it. I got silver buds for my ears along with it and an arm bracelet that went up just above my elbow. It was shaped as a snake with onyx stones as its eyes.

When we returned home, I helped Yori pack and then we pulled an all-nighter eating ice-cream and watching movies, playing games and talking. We both fell asleep on the floor where we had places our blancket and pillow. Yori left 4 hours later. I told her I'd call and she promised the same. We hugged and I watch her car drive off, away from the academy.

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><p>The day of the party finally arrives, I haven't seen or heard from Zero since school ended and it's taken a physical toll on my body. I feel worn out for staying up at night worrying and thinking about him. There's are bags under my eyes, and my muscles are tight. I try to relax as I make my way towards the chairman's building for breakfast. I had told him I had already brought a dress with Yuki when he had offered to take me to town. I arrive at the building and enter it, making my way to the kitchen. I smell the chairman making French toast so I go to the refrigerator, greeting him in the process, and take out the orange juice. I pour some for myself and walk to the table. I almost choke on my juice when I see Zero sitting there, he doesn't look up and I contemplate if I could just leave and have breakfast in the cafeteria. But I couldn't avoid him forever, I think to myself, but all I really wanted to do was stare at him. My guilty pleasure. I feign indifference and make my way to my chair, the one farthest from him. I drink my juice as he occasionally sips on his glass of water. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. The chairman finally arrives with the tray of food and we all eat. The chairman chatters about his life and thoughts while Zero sits in silence, not listening. I try to listen but my mind is on Zero, I occasionally nod at the chairman to let him think I'm listening. Finally, his face turns serious and I know that's my queue to start listening.<p>

'Now, yuki, being your father, I care about your safety. I don't want you to get in trouble tonight.'

I nod at him, did nobody trust me?

'There will be vampires in the banquet hall, as well as humans. The man I told you about, Usui Takemura, I want you to try and get as close to him as possible, to see if he does anything or acts suspiciously, do you understand?'

I nod, from the corner of my eye, I see a vein pop in Zero's neck, and his jaw clench. I keep my eyes on the chairman.

'I'll try my best,' I say.

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><p>There's an hour left for the party to start. I'm standing in my room alone. I had taken a shower and had blow-dried and straightened my hair, pulling it up into a low and elegant bun. My neck looked long and graceful and provocative, the skin seemed porcelein. I put on make-up, with heavy smokey-eyes and nude lipstick. I wear my dress, pulling on the earings and the arm-bracelet after it. I put Zero's neclace on, but hide the stone under my dress, so it looks like I'm wearing a chain. Yori had left her black heels for me to wear. I pull on a black trench-coat and I grab my black clutch in my hand and leave the room, headed to the gate where a car would be waiting for me.<p>

The chairman waiting for me there. I walk over to him, looking around to see where Zero was.

'He left before you,' the chairman tells me as I get by his side. I blush, embarassed that I had been caught. 'We thought it was a better idea that you go separately to avoid suspicion.'

I nod as he opens the door to the car. I climb in and he closes the door. open the window.

'Remember what I told you Yuki, be careful. I'll be waiting for you to get back.'

I smile and nod at him again, too nervous to talk. The chairman hit the roof of the car twice, indicating for the driver to start moving. Butterflies beat against my stomach as we drive towards our destinaton.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**- Music of the Night

We arrive at the mansion in a little more then 20 minutes. The drive seemed endless and the jitters didn't dissapear from my stomach. There was a huge mansion in front of us, the driveway stretched in front of us with about twenty cars. The valets or the drivers took the cars somewhere to the back as the couples got out of them. We waited in line, which took another 20 minutes. When my turn finally came, there was someone to open the door for me and reach his hand out to take mine. I hold it, thankful for his help as I get out of the car, he greets me and I smile at him. I remember I had to act elegant and sophisticated as any aristocratic human invited to a vampire soiree would. I pulled my back straight, squared my shoulders and held my head up high. I picked up my dress from my knees to avoid tripping on the hem as I walked up the stairs. The mansion was indeed huge, made out of sand-stone bricks. There were multiple pillars in front of the house and the walkway and stairs were made of marble. I walk through the huge wooden door and almost gasp at the beguiling scenery. The women wore dresses of every color imaginable, the chandeliers were sparkling and caught the light from the glasses of champagne in peoples hands, there was an entire orchastra at the far end of the room playing soft music. Large windows aligned the room, the night sky could be seen.

I entered through the door and there were two staircases winding their way down into the throng of people on either side of me. I noticed women handing off their coats to a few men to the side of the entrance. I walk to the side and look down, there on the fifth step stood Zero. My heart skipped a beat. Though he would try and act invisible, he was the only entity in the entire mansion which my gaze wouldn't move away from. His eyes finally turn to mine, his face remains impassive, as if I'm like every other person in the room, contrary to the fact, his eyes don't leave mine and I see a familiar glint in them. I don't move my eyes or my head away from him as I unbutton my coat. His eyes remain on mine as I take off the coat. They instantly widen and his mouth opens slightly. He takes me in, almost hungrily. My heart rate picks up with the way he's looking at me. If he were not human, I would have thought he needed my blood. I blush at his stare and turn to the man beside me and hand him my coat. He appraises me, but I turn my head away. There are a lot more people looking at me, the men as well as the women, their eyes mostly stay at my neck which is completely bear except for the neclace Zero gave me. I make my way towards the stairs and notice a number of people stop talking to stare at me. I see them inhale deeply, some sniff the air, their eyes glowing red. I descend down the stair. I avoid Zero's eyes as they stay on me. When I reach him, I turn the slightest inch towards him and smile. His eyes are smouldering and I can see him clench his hands into fists. I continue going down, most of the people have stopped staring, yet I still notice people's eyes on me. As I reach the bottom steps I see a man extend his hand towards me.

'May I have this dance?' he asks, a hint of a british accent in his voice. He's wearing a black and white suit with a red tie. He was handsome with ash blond hair and green eyes.

I almost turn to look at Zero-instinctively- but stop myself, I smile and nod at him. He bows and I curtsy, willing myself not to make a mistake. He takes my extended hand and walks me to the centre of the room where people are dancing. I place my hand on his shoulder and my other in his hand, he places his on the curve of my waist. We dance for about 10 minutes and through it his eyes don't move from my neck, making me feel nervous and exposed under his eyes. When the song finally ended, another man made his way to me, he had brown tousled hair and brown eyes, he had a huge smile on his face and he wore a navy blue suit with a light lemon tie. Unlike the man before him, he kept talking and asking me questions, by the end of the dance I was out of breath and slightly annoyed. However, before I had time to catch my breath, another man came and asked me to dance. He didn't talk much but I realized he was human by the way his eyes were glued to my chest rather then my neck, mentally stripping me from the dress. I kept my body from touching his the entire dance. He would still try to close the distance and by the middle of it I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I make my way to the side of the room and ask a waiter where the bathroom was. I follow his directions and make my way to a vacant hallway, after two wrong turns I find the bathroom. I enter and wash my face, fixing my makeup. I didn't have time for this, I had to find Usui Takemura, before the end of the night. I stay there for about five minutes then I get out. I walk back to the main floor when I feel someone pull me in a room and close the door. There are a few seconds of confusion in my head before I realize what happened to me, I take in a breath to let out a scream, but before I can a hand clamps down from behind me.

'Shh Yuki, its me.'

I breath a sigh of relief and the hand retreats from my mouth. I turn around and come face to face with my kidnapper.

'What is it Zero? I'm not getting in your way so you shouldn't care what I do, right?'

I turn to leave when he suddenly takes my shoulder and turns me around. He pushes me to the wall, his body pressed against mine. His hands take hold of my wrists as I try to push him away.

'Zero move, I have-'

Zero's lips crush against mine and my resolve to ignore him falls and I kiss him back, he lets go of my wrist and I wrap my arms around his neck. He kisses me hungrily, I open my mouth and his tongue plunges into my mouth and plays with mine. I move my hands down his body, unbuttoning his shirt. I feel his muscle tense and he shivers under me as I run my hands up and down his body. He roams his hands over my body. After a few minutes, we both separate from each other, breathing hard.

'Do you know how hard it was to not just jump on you when I saw you? Do you have any idea how much self-control that took? Sustaining my blood lust was a lot more easier.'

I laughed shakily at his angry voice. Kissing him again. Suddenly we both hear footsteps and freeze. We separate from each other. I fix my dress as he closes three of the buttons on his shirt that i had managed to open. The footsteps disappear and we look at each other, I let out a giggle and we both quietly laugh at our secret intimacy in the eyes of a whole party. He takes my hand and kisses it.

'I'm sorry about the way I acted, I just wanted to protect you.'

'I understand Zero,' I nod at him, 'I'm sorry for acting so childish.'

'Can I ask you a favour though,' he says opening the door, the light that comes inside blinds me for a few seconds.

'What is it?'

'Can you please stop dancing with every guy that asks you. That last guy was harder to hit than the other o-'

'Zero!' I say, incredulous, 'did you bother them?'

He shrugs, 'I didn't like them.'

'That doesn't mean you have to beat them up.' I say, though I felt somewhat smug and happy inside about his posessive nature.

He shrugs again, opening the door for me. 'They got what was coming to them.'

* * *

><p>I return to the hall and Zero follows 10 minutes later to seem inconspicuous. After his talk, I rejected every guy that came to ask me to dance. I told them my boyfriend was possessive. They give me a weird look and walk away. I giggle inwardly. I walk around the room, admiring the womens dresses and the rooms alluring beauty. I took a galss of wine and hold in it my hand, like I see the other women doing. Nobody tries to talk to me, except for those who ask me to dance. Others give me looks with raised eyebrows, as if to ask, 'What're you doing here?'. Their gazes travel from my head to my toe. It makes me feel self-conscious, but I try to ignore the feeling. Half-way through the evening I spot Usui Takemura. He's wearing a black and white suit with the top three buttons open, and a lazy handkerchief in his breast pocket. He looks unkept with his dissheveled brown hair and drooping eyes. He has his arms draped casually around a womens waist, the same women in the picture the chairman had given me. I stand at the back of the room, leaning against a wall, my eyes stay on him. Suddenly he turns his head and turns towards me, staring directly into my eyes. His seem to darken and turn a shade of red. I don't avert my eyes and take a sip of the drink in my hand. He smile, almost maliciously and turns back the women, he brings his mouth to her ear and whispers something to her. She nods, her eyebrows furrowed. He leans away, letting her go and starts walking towards me. I don't know how I could remain so calm. My heart was steady and so was my gaze, maybe it was because Zero was here so I knew I was safe. I was really taking advantage of him. His eyes didn't leave mine, the smile still on his face. I knew he didn't look any different than the other vampire in the room , but he protruded a bad vibe that I didn't like. He stood in front of me and stared at me and I stared back at him, taking a sip of my drink. His eyes came to rest on my neck. He gave me his hand. And bowed.<p>

'May I have this dance?' he asked, a hint of a Russian accent in his voice. I nodded, placing my glass on the table and took his hand. He smiles at me, showing his teeth, deliberately showing me his canines. I didn't flinch away as I thought he had expected me to do. His smile widened as I kept my face straight. He pulls me to him when we reach the dance floor, wrapping his arms around my waist and taking hold of my other hand. We start the dance, his eyes somewhat red and burning with an intensity that made me nervous, I keep my eyes away from him. I'm looking around the room until I find what I'm looking for, Zero leans against the wall, his arms crossed. I blink once and he nods understanding my silent message. Suddenly I feel something warm on my neck, I turn my head to find Usui with his face inches from my neck and his hot breath hitting my skin, sending shivers down my back. My heart rate picks up, and my face reddens at his proximity.

'Mmm, you smell so... exquisite.'

Before I can even gasp, I feel Usui's arms ripped apart from mine. I blank out for a second, I'm pulled by my elbow and follow where it leads me to stand. Then I find broad shoulders in front of me, holding me behind them. It's Zero, I move a step so I can have a better look at the situation. He has his bloody rose pointed at the vampire. I gasp and clutch at Zeros sleeve. Usui stands a few steps away from us, a malicious smirk on his face. I blink and the women Usui had in his arm at the beginning of the party is suddenly standing beside Zero, a small knife extending from her arm towards his neck. There is 5 seconds of silence, the entire ballroom is looking our way and the orchastra has stopped playing. All the while Usui smiles and Zero glares at him.

'It's alright Rose,' he turns to the girl, then turns back to Zero. 'My mistake.'

He raises his hand in surender, Rose drops the her hand to her side and bows to Usui. Zero lowers the gun and turns around abruptly, taking my hand and leading me off to the side.

'Zero,' I say, my voice cracks. 'Your hurting me.'

He loosens his grip but doesn't pull his arm away. He leads me up the stairs and through the door, taking me outside. I stand in the cold, shivering, while Zero asks the valet for his car.

'Zero, I'm just going to grab my jacket,' I say, pointing inside.

'I'll go get it,' he says, walking towards the door. I pull his hand.

'They wont know its my coat, and you have to wait for the car anyways.'

He nods and I smile at him to show him I'm fine before going back up the stairs. I return to the ball room and go to the side for my coat. The man hands it to me and I thank him. I walk to the door, busy putting on my jacket when I'm suddenly pulled into a dark room. This seems to be happening a lot today.

I sigh frustrated. 'That's getting kind of old Zero.'

'I'll remember not to do it again.'

I freeze. It wasn't Zero, it was Usui's voice. I turn towards the door ready to sprint out but I'm suddenly pulled back, I fall back towards the ground. Everything is dark, my fear rises and I shakily get up, my heart accelerating. I wave my hands in front of my face, idiotically, until I feel the wall. I follow the wall, hoping it will lead me to the door. I can't hear anything except my quick and heavy breathing and the dull sound of the music in the ball room. Suddenly, I feel a sensation across my shoulders, I shiver as I feel Usui touch my bare back. He slides my zipper down, trailing his finger along with it. I whip around, hoping to slap him, but my hand makes contact with thin air. I keep moving, my breathing now coming in gasps, my tears threatening to overflow. I finally feel the handle of the door, relief washes down on me. Suddenly, I feel him in front of me. I can't see anything but I feel him, he moves his hand over my neck line. I gasp.

'Please,' I whisper, pleadingly, 'Please don't hurt me.'

He moves his hands across my cheeks.

'I'm not going to hurt you.'

My breathing slows, I take trust in his words since I have nothing else.

'Are you afraid of me?' he whispers. His voice neutral.

My thought come to another person who had asked me the very same question, I almost smile at the memory, but given the circumstances I didn't.

'Yes,' I said. Honest and true.

He traces his thumb over my lips softly. I feel nauseus, I didn't want his touch, I wanted Zero's. I wanted him right now. So much that tears come to my eyes.

'I said I won't hurt you.'

'Then let me go.'

Instantly, he moves away. I turn around, I feel his hands on my back, zipping my dress back up. I open the door, wiping my tears.

'Yuki Cross. I'll remember your face,' I hear him say before I sprint out of the room and out of the building.


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N) There are some lemony scenes in this chapter. Just thought I'd warn. Anyways...read on.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>- Loneliness

I'm glad that the car is dark so that Zero doesn't see my eyes and expresions, he would know something happened. He asked me why I had taken so long and I lied, telling him that they couldn't find my coat. The driver had left without me when Zero had told him that I would be riding with him. I didn't want the ride to be silent for the next 20 minutes, so I asked him questions about his night. He answered patiently.

'What did you think of Usui Takamaru?' I ask, forcing to keep my voice steady.

His hands tighten on the steering wheel. 'I hate his guts.'

'I meant his behaviour. Anything worth reporting to the association?'

He ponders on this. 'I didn't think his actions were out of the ordinary. I mean almost every vampire, and human, there tried to grope you.'

I roll my eyes at his directness. I suddenly remember what had happened when I had gone back for my coat. I blush and look out the window.

'What about you?'

'Huh?' I asked, pulled out of my reverie.

'What did you think of him?' he asked.

I hesitate. Thinking about my answer carefully, looking back out the window.

'I think he's lonely.'

I thought I had said it too low for him to hear, but then he asked, 'lonely?'

I nod, avoiding looking at his face. 'Yeah. I didn't like the vibe that was coming from him and it was kind of scary. I can't understand how people can stand to be alone. After I was abandoned on that snow-covered mountain all those years ago, I felt that... I was alone in the entire world. It was such a scary feeling. But then I found that I have the chairman, Kaname, Yori, and you. That was all I needed. Right now, with only us two in the car, miles from anywhere, it feel likes… we're the only ones in the world. And that's all I need.'

Zero suddenly swerves to the ride of the road making me yelp. He comes to a stop at the curb. I turn to him, blazing.

'Zero, what the he-'

Zero's lips are on mine before I could finish my bashing, and it wouldn't matter even if he stopped, since I had already forgotton what I had been talking about. My arms wrap around him, my hands curl around his hair. I hear him unbuckle his seatbelt and then mine. He pulls me onto his lap without breaking the kiss. Feeling somewhat confident because of the darkness, I bite and pull his bottom lip, I feel him shiver and groan into my mouth. He tightens his hold around my waist and licks my bottom lip, asking for entrance. We share a passionate kiss that leaves me breathless. The steering wheel of the car presses to my back, making me uncomfortable. I push my hips forward and accidently push against the bulge between his legs. I hear his groan softly and lean his head back.

'Holy shit,' he breathes quietly, almost to himself.

'Sorry,' I say, embarrassed.

'No, no, don't be,' he says, moving his head forwards again and kissing me urgently. His hands roam over my body, making me ache for him. His hands fondle my breasts and I arch my back. Moaning softly. His hands roam to my back as he kisses me again. He slowly unzips my dress, I unbutton his shirt and caress his chest and stomach, which tense under my touch. His breath is slow and ragged now. He pulls his lips away, he drags my dress down, and I push the coat and shirt off his body. He brings his lips back to mine and starts to unclasp my bra. My core ache for him and I move my hips against his as an attempt to relieve myself. He gasps into my mouth and I wrap my arms tighter around him, stopping his movements. His pulls away slightly.

'Yuki, please,' he breaths. His lips travel down my jaw to my neck, I arch my back and he kisses my nipples, making them stand in points and making me moan and gasp in ecstasy. He pulls back, I feel exhausted, but my need for him is so strong that I feel I might explode.

'Lets go to the back,' he tells me breathless.

* * *

><p>We decide to spend winter break at the academy since the chairman was busy with his work. Not that I was complaining. Something about being alone with Zero in a building as big as the academy brought a thrill to me and a shiver of excitement down my spine. We would spend every waking moment together, we spent our nights together at the guest rooms since they were bigger then our dorm rooms. We'd go on walks, and eat together. we went to town and spent the day there finding random things to do. Everyday was filled with so much happiness that I felt like a ballon ready to explode. Unfortunately, as the week was coming to a close, Zero was called out for a mission. I spent the day with the chairman. I felt guilty about not paying as much attention to the chairman as I should, being his daughter. We had already told him about us dating when winter break started. He was ecstatic. As he had jumped up to hug us, with crocadile tears running down his face, Zero smacked him and led me out of the room saying the chairman needed to calm himself. Later, when the chairman was cooking dinner with me and Zero helping, I had excused myself. I had stalled outside the door and heard them talking.<p>

'Zero, I trust you,' i heard the chairman say in a serious voice.

'Yeah.'

'Take care of my daughter.'

'I will.'

That was the most normal conversation I had heard between the two. I had almost cried at the feeling of love inside me for both my father and Zero. Instead I went to the bathroom and didn't mention it to either of them. I break out of my reverie when I hear the door-bell ring. The chairman almost skips to the door, calling to whoever was at the door to 'be patient.' I finished cutting the salad when comes back to the kitchen. There was a confused look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed.

'What's wrong?' I ask, worried.

'We're having a guest over,' he says, waving the letter in the air, a cynical smile on his face. I frown at him, it's not like him to act this way.

'Who is it?' I ask, picking up the salad bowl and walking to the table.

'Usui Takumi.'

I freeze, my palms grow sweaty and I lay the bowl on the table before it falls. I turn my face to him.

'He sent me a telegram saying he wanted to talk to me. So he decided to come over for dinner.'

My breathing is labored and my head spins. I can't face him after what he did at the ball, I don't want to come near him.

'Yuki, it's okay, you don't have to be here when he comes.'

I sigh in relief and nod at him. He stares at me then smiles lightly, nodding his head, acknowledging my answer. I make a sandwich for myself and leave the chairman's headquarters. I return to my room and eat my dinner there. My nerves won't allow me to sit still so I start wandering around the little apartment-like room Yori and I share. I stop after a while and sit on a couch. I sigh, wishing Zero was here. Every second that passed made it harder for me to live the next. I want to cry but am too tired to. Soon my eyes become heavy and I fall asleep on the uncomfortable couch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**- Waiting in the Dark

I open my eyes. It's still dark outside, but I had heard a noise so I had woken up. I get up slightly and look around. The room is dark except for the light of the full moon outside. A figure looms on my open window. I stare at it, surprisingly calm. Usui Takumi comes towards me, his body and features are illuminated by the moon and he looks like an out-wordly being. I can't help but stare, not speaking. He comes towards me, as swift and silent as a ghost. My curtains blow behind him, seemingly mysterious. He stands in front of the couch, directly in front of me. I stare at his face and he stares at mine. He leans down towards me, my eyes don't waver from his. There are no emotions inside me, as if I'm in a dream. But no, even dreams have a sense of feeling in them. My mind was blank and my heart was still, as if I had ceased to exist. He moves his face close to my neck and gently moves my hair behind my shoulder, breathing hot gulps of air down my skin. Suddenly, everything seems to happen in a second. My mind starts to move, my eyes widen, my heart hammers in my chest. I move my hands to his chest and push. He moves back and takes hold of my arms, so his face is in level with mine and almost an inch apart.

'You weren't there today.'

I furrow my brows at him and try to release his hands from mine.

'At dinner, I came to see you and that oaf told me you were busy.'

I pull my hands harder. Letting out audible sounds of struggle. He sighs, as if he was fighting a stubborn baby.

'Why don't you answer me?' he asks, his voice low and sad.

I stop struggling long enough to look at his face, there is a pained look painting his features and I lose some of the fight in me. I try not to show it though.

'I didn't want to see you.'

Something flashes through his eyes and I hear a low growl coming from behind his throat. I flinch and he pulls me to him. He kisses me on the mouth and I let out a scream with my mouth closed. I push him away but he doesn't budge and keeps his mouth on mine. I make my lips into a straight line and feel tears coming to my eyes. Zero. I think to myself, just keep him in your mind. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. He pulls away and trails kisses down my jaw, towards my neck. I realize I'm crying. I feel his fangs graze my neck and I hear his ragged breathing.

'By God,' he whispers, 'I want you.'

I close my eyes, freeing a set of tears from my eyes by doing so, 'Please don't.'

He stiffens at my blant regection of him. He moves his mouth away from my neck and brings his face back to mine.

'I will kill Zero if you don't listen to me.'

I freeze. My heart litterally freezes, my mind blanks for a second. He couldn't. he wouldn't. looking into his eyes, they burn red, with an intensity to make me cringe and hide under the table. Tears come to my eyes. He could and he would. He's dead serious. Anger flares within me. I pull my hand back, and with all the force I have, I slap him. His face turns to the side. My hand throbs but my anger overpowers my body and I don't care or think about anything.

'Don't you dare lay a finger on him.' I say, with as much venom as I could lace in those words.

He brings his head back and stares at my face. He smiles, my angers boils through my body, firing up every nerve. How dare he? How DARE he? He brings his hands up and traps my face between them. I try to move away, but it feels like I'm between two iron walls. He kisses me again.

I scream against his lips. 'Don't touch me,' I scream. He moves away slightly. 'I will kill him if you don't kiss me like you do him.'

My anger disappears as fast as it came. Emotions hourd inside me and I don't know how to react. How could he expect me to do that? How? Zero was Zero. The only person I had ever loved, the only person in the world who I would never be able to live without. I would die for that man. How could I bring my feelings for someone like Zero to this vampire? He puts his lips on mine again. My stomach churns uncomfortably and I have a need to barf. My heart aches. I need Zero, now. I need Zero where Usui was, in front of me, in my room, in the middle of the night. Kissing me, touching me, whispering to me, loving me. More tears come and I can't help the sobs that cut through the silent air. He kisses me again, I close my eyes tight and kiss him back. I had to do this, for Zero, if not for myself. He pulls away slightly, breathing hard.

'Not good enough.'

I pull him to me and kiss his mouth with as much passion as I could muster. I tell myself it worked due to the moans leaving his mouth. We go on like this for a while. My tears are spent and I'm exhausted. Suddenly, he leaves my mouth and descends his lips to my neck.

'No,' I gasp. That was for Zero only. Only he could touch that part of me. Before, when he was a vampire, to drink my blood. Only him. And now, as a human. Only him. I could still see the hickeys that Zero had planted there before he had left on his mission. Usui looks up at me, not moving his face.

'He could die within a minute if I send the orders, believe me.'

My heart breaks and contrary to what I said, I start to cry again. He leans to my neck and licks it in anticipation of his teeth. I close my eyes as his razor canines sink into my neck. I gasp, sucking in my breath. I grip the side of the couch, my eyes burning. He drinks hungrily, moaning through the feeding. I start to feel lightheaded. The ecstacy doesn't come, only the pain. It remains there even after he extracts his fangs from my neck. My eyes are slightly open and my head has dropped back to the couch. I'm tired and dizzy. I can't think. My only thoughts are of Zero. Tears cascade down my face. He takes my hand gently and kisses the back of it. I don't turn to him.

'Yuki,' he says softly. I don't respond. 'I'm going to ask you something very selfish now and I want you to say yes to my request.'

I'm quiet.

'Will you come with me?'

I'm quiet.

'I won't dishonour you in any way. But I believe that I have become addicted to your blood. Since the first time I saw you at the ball. You were so beautiful, and your smell. You smelled so nice that I had to see you again and now that I've found you, I don't want to let you go. Will you come with me?'

I'm quiet.

He sighs, 'I'll take that as a yes then.'

He picks me up bridal style and my head and arm flop down. 'I'll have to erase your memory though. I can't have you remembering that man again in my presence. I want you to belong to me and only me. I will take you somewhere secluded and I won't let you leave. You'll be happy Yuki, please believe me.'

My mind is still on Zero, I can't let him get hurt. It doesn't matter if I do. If he's hurt, I won't live with myself.

'Don't hurt Zero,' I whisper in a raspy voice.

He looks at my face. Glad I had talked for the first time after the drinking, but angry that it was about something other then him. He frowns.

'If you listen to me I won't.'

I close my eyes to the world. Tomorrow, I will forget everything. The chairman, Yori, Kaname, Zero. Zero. Zero. I feel nothing. I am nothing but thin air. Tomorrow, I will wake up to a Victorian furnished room in Usui Takumi's castle located in the middle of no where. My mind will have stopped working but everyday, I will feel my heart. And I will feel the agonizing pain of it breaking into a million little pieces. Over and over again over something I won't be able to even remember.

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><p><strong>(AN) *Gasp. EPIC. lolies. KAWABUNGA. ok thats enough. i actually had fun writing this chapter. its really small but still...EPIC *is shot.**

**ok so this was small but i have a surprise next chap ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N) yaay so heres the surprise, the story is now in Zero's POV *GASP. tell me you love me *is shot* read on lovelies**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>- When the Sun Goes Down

1 Year Later

**Zero's POV**

'You gonna tell me where she is?'

'You don't wanna know.'

BANG.

'AAAAHHHHH.'

'Ready to talk now?'

'SHUT UP, I AINT GONNA TELL YOU'

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Quiet.

* * *

><p>I enter the chairmans office, ready to give my report on what happened on my mission. He sits behind his desk, an open file laid out infront of him. His shoulders slumped and a deep frown adorning his once obnoxiously cheery face.<p>

'Your back.' he states.

I nod. I knew it was a rhetorical question on his part. He looks up.

'What happened?'

'I found the missing girl after I killed the Level E. I followed it from it's hideout to an abandoned alleyway in town and shot it three times, one on each leg and once in the heart. I returned to its hideout and found the 8-year old under the floorboards with minor scratches and a broken finger. I brought her to the expert at the headquarters and they'll have her returned to her family within the hour.'

The chairman nods at me, his eyes glazed and cloaking any and all emotion. 'Thank you Zero.'

I nod to him and turn to leave. I had moved out of the academy a little while ago and was now living in an apartment in town so there was no reason for me to be here.

'I'm sorry for making you do this even after…'

My hands which now rested on the doorknob clenched, turning my knuckles white. The knob bent inwardly.

'I'm actually glad I do it,' I turn to the chairman, he watches me with a cautious eye. 'It helps relieve even less then an ounce of the anger stored inside me.'

We're both quiet. Finally, the chairman sighs, his demeanour breaking slightly as he looks away. 'It's already been a year, huh?'

I look away from the him, down to my hands on the door knob. My heart clenches slightly but I try to focus my attention on something else. Anything else.

'I'll never forgive myself,' his voice cracks and he brings his hand to his face, messaging the bridge of his nose. 'We'll find her Zero. I swear it.'

I stand there for a second, to let him know that I heard what he said, then slowly I close the door. It makes an aching sound.

* * *

><p>I'm walking through a forest, the air is pure, the sky is blue and the world is happy. I don't see it but I feel it. The world feels happy. Suddenly a howl from a wolf pierces the air, the day turns to night, the air turns heavy and suffocating, the trees are covered in streaks of blood. I look down and I see blood covering my body.<p>

'Zero.'

I jerk my face up, looking around frantically, the forest has transformed to one of the corridors in the academy. I run towards the sound. She's here. She's calling me. I run through the corridor, turn every which way until I reach a door. I hear her call my name again and without hesitating I open it. The room is dark, I can't see a thing. I enter it and the door closes behind me. I call her. I call her name like I've had so many times before.

'Zero.'

I turn and find her standing there with her back to me. Using what's left of my strength I run to her, grasping her shoulder and turn her around. She has no face. Where her beautiful eyes, nose, and mouth are supposed to be, I see clear skin. A strangled scream rises in my throat and I let it out. Suddenly I wake up.

* * *

><p>I take gulps of air. One after the other. I had woken up screaming again. I run my hands through my hair. Sweat runs down my bare back and chest. Its dawn and orange hues fill my room. I throw the covers off and almost fall out the bed, I can't breath, my lungs are being compressed. I need to see her. I open my side-drawer and take out the wrinkly picture of us at the beginning of high school. The edges were crumpled and the pictures was wrinkled because I was always looking at it. It helped me get through another day in this hell. I stare at her beautiful face, my heart clenches painfully, but I can't stop looking. Images of her flood my memory and I close my eyes to the pain as well as the happiness they bring me. My heart constricts again, so painful that I feel I can't breath. I remember the day I had come back to the academy. It was dawn and I had gone straight to her room, but I didn't find her there. The room was in some disarray so I had gone to the chairman who was passed out on his bed. It took a while to wake him up from the drug circulating his body. The whole time I couldn't sit still, I wanted to rip my hair out because I didn't know what was going on. When he did wake up, he had told me that Usui Takemura had come for dinner and had left when he had purposefully drugged the chairman. For the next three months I skipped school and had gone in search for her. But it was no use, I couldn't find her and it was even harder considering I had no leads and no idea where to start looking. I would ask people in every town if they had ever seen or heard of Usui Takemura, but every where I went, there were shaking heads and sympathetic looks my way. Finally the chairman had called me back, saying that it would be better if we searched in a more inconspicuous way so they wouldn't know what was coming to them. I don't remember ever crying in my life, except for that night when Shizuka had killed my family. But that night, as I lay on my bed, gone through three months keeping my feelings of the loss of her hidden, they became so powerful that it had overflowed, and I had let the tears run. A crushing loneliness consumed me, the ability to strive to live had left me, but thoughts of her kept me going even one more day. I blamed myself for her disappearance; if only I had been with her when she was in trouble. If I was still a vampire, I might have been able to find her. I tried not to think about what that vampire was doing to her, I didn't know the extent of my control. Kaname had helped in searching for her but even then, we were unsuccessful. We didn't talk to each other, maybe we both knew if we did talk how hopeless the situation would look. I sigh and get up, dragging myself to the shower. I haven't gotten a decent sleep since last year and I had become used to it. I take a cold shower to wake my senses and change into my uniform. I didn't really want to go to school but I knew it's what I had to do. Better to keep my mind off things. Even though it's early I make my way through town towards the academy. I don't go inside the building, instead make my way to the stables. Though my heart clenches when I see the stables when a distant and my most treasured memory comes to mind. It was where she had told me she loved me. It was at that moment that I had believed in eternity. I walk inside to find White lily, awake while the other horses are still stirring. I stroke her mane and give her breakfast. I take off my jacket and clean White Lily's cub. I let the memory of her wash over me. An unbearable agony pushes down on my chest until it becomes hard to breath. White Lily turn her head to me and nudges my shoulders, trying to console me. I smile and pet her before gathering my things and leaving the stables. I walk to class, the sun rising with the promise of another day without her.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**- Fallen Angel

The day passes with classes and me trying to escape from Yori and Mitsuki. They're blood-shot eyes would annoy me. How could they let their sadness consume them? Make themselves weak and willing for it? I steered clear of them and their obnoxious question of recent news of her whereabouts. If I knew, would I be here? I still performed duties, so I made my way to the gates. Now that she wasn't here, the girls didn't have a chance to cross the line I had created. There was no one that would scold me for being harsh to the girls of the day class. This thought made my heart constrict painfully. I look towards the gates. As the night class come out, Kaname makes his way towards me, I ignore him, but he stand in front of me until I turn to him. He nods at me.

'Kiryuu.'

'Kuran.'

'There is something I have to tell you,' his voice has lost some of its venom and he speaks as he did before, somewhat formally.

Wordlessly, I follow him along with the night class towards the school building. The rest of the class bow to Kaname after he waved them away. We stand there for a second. I fold my hands across my chest and lean my back against the wall. His eyes follow the night class until they're out of sight.

'I have found something about Yuki's whereabouts.'

My body jerks from its relaxed position and my arms fall and clench to my sides. It takes everything I have to not force the answer out of him.

'And?' I ask harshly.

He sighs. 'It's nowhere near the academy Zero. It's in a town called Lawnson, a 3 days train ride from here. Usui had cloaked his vampire powers from within and so we were unable to detect him. His castle is located on one of the hills at the end of the town. We haven't gone there yet because vampires can't enter.'

He gives me a hard look.

'If I don't see her back here by the end of the week Zero, I'll take her for myself and kill you so you don't get in my way.'

I almost smile at him. Almost. 'Don't bet on it Kuran.'

Before I even finish the sentence I'm running.

* * *

><p>I stand in the train station with my small duffle bag hung over my shoulder. Tickets in hand I get on the train. I told the chairman my plan and didn't wait for him to give an answer. Though when I left he almost had a smile on his face. I sit in a vacant compartment and settle myself to my surroundings. This past year has been a living hell for me. I don't know how I had lived through it. I'm surprised at myself. I try to restraint the level of hope to a minimum inside me. I knew that what Kuran had told me had a bigger chance of being false then true. I had tried my hardest in those three months to find her. I had gone to Lawnson, but I had found nothing there. It was a large town with a large population of vampires. I hadn't noticed any suspicious activity or people so I had left after staying there for three days. Kuran had said the mansion was located at the edge of town. I grit my teeth. What would he have done with her? He probably had her locked up. He was probably abusing her, taking advantage of her. My hands clenched at thoughts of him touching her with his dirty hands invaded my thoughts. I would have to endure this for the next three days until I get there. I close my eyes and try to get some sleep that I wouldn't be getting there.<p>

* * *

><p>I arrive at the station at Lawnson three days later. I get into a taxi. Kuran had said the castle was located on top of a hill. I asked the driver if there was a castle near the edge of town. He nodded at me.<p>

'There are a few, something this town is famous for. There are about 4 at the edge.'

I thank him and ask him to drop me to the nearest motel. When I get there, I drop my duffel bag, strap my gun to its holster on my chest, covering it with my jacket, I leave the room. It's almost dark so I don't have enough time to go through all the castles. I take another taxi that takes almost an hour to get to the first castle. I ask him to wait for me outside. He nods and I go to the door. My hands are shaking. My heart races. I have been trained for situation in which my body reacts like this. Calm down, I tell myself. Don't get your hopes up to have them crushed. I knock on the door. It's silent for about a minute, I knock again, aggitated. An elderly maid opens the door. My heart is pounding as I ask her for Usui Takemura. I thought she wouldn't hear me because of the sound of my pounding heart and my cracking voice. But she does and shakes her head.

'There is no Usui Takemura here son.'

I try to keep my features straight as I thank her and turn away. I go back to the taxi, telling him to go to the next castle. He sighs.

'Sir, that's another hour away. I have to get home to my wife and kids.'

I sigh and ask him to take me back to the motel. I take a hot shower and change into sweats, not bothering with a shirt. I lie on the bed and think of her. Her smile, her laugh. Her. I remember when she had told me she loved me. My heart had almost exploded with the sheer happiness of it. I had never experienced such an emotion, it was overflowing within me and I clenched my heart at the physical exertion it caused. I had never thought that I would ever be able to be with her. I was a vampire, worse then that, a Level E. I was sure to succumb to a fate worse then death, but when she had told me that she loved me I just snapped. I didn't give a damn about the circumstances. She had saved me. My personal angel. She had loved me and she had been taken away from me. My heart constricted uncomfortably and I took a deep breath and clench my eyes shut at the oncoming headache. The yearning in my heart for the past year had been overpowering. Every day I had lived with only the thought of seeing her again. Only that thought was enough to make me live forever. Sleep overpowered me and I drifted.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) Okay so i'm using this space to answer a question posted by _ashnite22_. The Yuki I have in my head is the one i write about, its how i imagine her. i guess she is a little og but as for her strength physically; i never really saw her use artemis in a real fight before she turned to a vampire so it was hard to imagine :S. Im sorry i didnt capture her right but i'm no matsuri hino (GOD DAMMIT IT'S TRUE). I write how i imagine it to go :). Thanks for asking, cleared it up for people didnt we.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**- Beautiful Nightmare

Nightmares consume my being. I am a vampire, a Level E. I want blood, my throat scorches with a knawling thirst. I'm following a familiar scent through an alleyway. My mouth waters and my stomach clenches in premonition of the thick liquid cascading down my throat. I wanted to rip their thorat open with my razor sharp canines. I wanted to suck them dry until there was not one drop left by me. I ran through mindless alleyways like a maze. My adrenaline pumped but that just insinuated my thirst for the blood. My mouth watered. Suddenly I come to a dead end. I turn around to head back the way I came when I hear someone call me. I turn to found her crouched to the ground in the corner, her back to me. She's wearing her white night gown and I can see her hugging her knees to her body. Then she spoke. She asks me something that plagues me every second of everyday since the day she had vanished.

'Why didn't you save me Zero?'

She slowly lifts her face and turns to me. There are no features. Blood courses down her face like river paths. Her hair is plastered in clumps to her body, her night gown has a small spot of blood that expands and soon soaks her entire dress. I run to her, my thirst gone, I am human again. Just as my hands reach her, I wake up with a start breathing heavily, almost gasping. Sweat covers my body and a heavy feeling settles in my stomach. I lay back down and try my hardest to forget the images in my mind. The after-affects of my dream. my heart beats loudly and I try to control the over-riding grief inside of me. The sun is already up so I get out of my bed. I unpacked a pair of jeans and a shirt and take a shower. The hot water loosens the muscles on my body. After I'm done, I wear my trench-coat that holds the Bloody Rose and walk around town. People loiter about, children run with their dogs and people call out for a sale on watermelons. I see an old couple outside the display of fruits. I approach them. They're in their 60's with grey hair and wrinkled yet kind faces. I ask them about the castles.

'There's about four of them. They're located in random areas,' the man says, turning around to face me.

'Can you tell me about them?'

'Well they're all about an hour drive from the other, they keep getting further and further from each location. The first is Witcher castle, owned by a Mr. Takaomi, the second is Dawn Brook, owned by Mr. Saeki. The next is Windsor castle, owned by Mrs. Sakura, and the last is Forwick castle owned by Mr. Kakimoto.'

I thanked them. The hope that had started to built up since the day Kaname gave me his information didn't diminish because I knew that the vampire Usui wouldn't be able to hide for a year if a whole town knew he owned a castle. He had to be secretive about it. I headed home, by this time, it was mid-day. I called a taxi to take me to Dawn Brook castle. It takes about 2 hours to get there. It's a huge castle made of brown bricks and surrounded mostly by forests and grasslands. Again I can't stop the anticipation leaking into my every nerve ending and I try to remain calm about the situation. A man opens the door and I ask for Usui Takemura, they tell me they don't know anyone from that name, I thank them and return to the taxi. If I didn't find her I would have to go inside each castle and search every room myself until I did. Even then if I didn't, I wasn't giving up. I would keep searching until the end. I would keep looking. It's twilight when we reach the next stop, Windsor castle. It's big and stretches through the forested land. There is a large pond in the middle, the black gates are open and the taxi takes me to the front. I get out and make my way to the door. I knock but the it doesn't open for about a minute, I knock on it again, a little louder this time. I didn't have time for this. I hear the creak of the door and wait for it to fully open. A girl stand there, looking at me with large brown eyes. My heart stops and I stare at her. My world freezes and all I see is her, my life has disappeared, my mind goes blank, I can't move. I can't even hear the thumping of my heart. Only hers. Its been a year and that I haven't seen her beautiful face, a year I haven't touched her, a year I haven't held her. I can't move, I'm stock still. I don't notice I'm not breathing.

'Yuki.'


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**- A Forgotten Memory

I utter her name and it taste sweet in my mouth. It sounds strange, almost foreign to my ears. It's been so long that I've said it out loud. There is a strangled giddiness growing inside me, so much that I feel light-headed. She stares at me with, her wide brown eyes confused. She's wearing a floral dress that reaches her knees. Her hair is held back by a large black head-band and it flows down her back. It's grown longer since last I saw her, just below her shoulder. Her eyes are as beautiful and as deep as I last saw them, that damned day I left her. She moves herself slightly behind the door, almost as if to hide her body. My heart clenches and pounds against my chest. I swallow and discover a lump in my throat.

'Can I help you?'

I blink in confusion. My breath knocked out of me when I hear her voice, but my mind works around what she says. She didn't know me. My shoulders slump and my insides grow cold.

'You don't know who I am?' I whisper, my voice cracking. I had spoken so low that she hadn't heard me.

'Pardon me?' she asks. She draws herself slightly away from the door. I stare at her. My mind in swimming, coherent thoughts are beyond me. My mind is blank. What has he done to her? Anger surges through my body. Every nerve going on fire. Blotches appear before my eyes and I notice I'm shaking as the supressed emotion courses through my body. It was him who did this to her, erased her memory. I had never in my life felt such anger and hatred for someone as I did for him. He was on the same level as Shizuka to me, if not more. I try to control myself, I didn't want to scare her. The thought instantly made me relax and helps me keep my emotions in check. I take a breath and let it out, keeping my eyes on her. Clenching and unclenching my fist.

She moves uncomfortably under my scrutiny. She must have caught a glimpse of the struggle I was going through inside because she gave me a confused and sympathetic look.

'Is there something you need?'

I search her face for even a hint of recognition, anything. But her features are clear of anything familiar. I am a stranger to her. It's hard to breath. Her words suddenly register in my head. 'I'm here to see Usui Takamura.'

Her face breaks into a smile and my heart almost rips out of me. I bite my tongue against the groan stuck in my throat. Without realizing my hand reaches for her, but just on time, I catch myself and try to stay in control. My heart aches and an indescribable pain fills my heart. It takes everything I had not to pull her to me and run away. Away with her.

'Oh, are you a friend?'

I nod, grinding my teeth together, the muscles of my jaw jumping. I try to keep the hatred from my face.

'I'm sorry but he's not in at the moment.'

She still has a smile on her face. My heart breaks at her pure perfection. I had lost her and she was here. It felt like a dream, but I never wanted to wake up. Tears threaten to fill but I push them back, my nose twitches. I turn my face away from hers, trying to focus on what she's talking about.

'Do you know when he'll be back?'

Her lips turn into a pout and her eyebrows come together, thinking about her answer. I almost break under the memories that invade my mind. I wanted to touch those lips, to kiss them, kiss every part of her body. I wanted to feel her in my arms, to make sure she wasn't an apparition. I have to have her near me. I wasn't leaving this place even if Usui wasn't here. I don't care if I stay outside here all night, I wasn't going anywhere even if they threw me out. I had been away from her for too long, not even death would separate me from her again.

'I'll just go ask Mrs. Sakura, she usually takes care of affairs for him.'

She turns and goes into the house, I instinctively follow behind her, she would be crazy to think I'd let her out of my sight for even a second. I'm quiet as I walk behind her so as not to startle her. She was here in front of me. She was here. My heart was growing and emotions were overflowing inside me. She was here.

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><p><strong>(AN) YAAAAAAY so the next chapter will start from Yuki's POV and it'll stay that way. Thank you sooooo much for the review i swear my heart totally fills when i read them and i wanna cry. Anyways thanks for reading babes**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**- A Familiar Stranger

**Yuki's POV**

I knock on the door of the library with my pinkie. I knew Mrs. Sakura is inside because that's where she always is when she has nothing to do. It was where Mr. Takemura spent most of his time and she liked to bask in his space when he wasn't around. She tells me to come in. I open the door slightly. Her back is to me as she sits on a leather chair facing the fire chimney. Her golden hair gleaming by the fire. She isn't reading-ironic because she's in a library- but just sitting there with a cigarette in her mouth. Smoke fills the room and the smell makes me gag.

'There is someone here to see Mr. Takemura,' I say in a small voice, she doesn't like it when I talk too loud.

'Who is it?' she asks without turning around. She doesn't especially like guests except if they're hers, contrary to me who would love to have some outside company, except hers.

'Uh,' I blank out. Shoot, I forgot to ask him his name.

'Ren Oda.'

I jump, turning around to find the boy from outside standing behind me, his face inches from mine. When he had spoke, his breath had hit my ear, it was warm and his voice was low and husky. The closeness of it had made me jump. I feel a shiver drawn from my spine, but it is not one from fear. I stare at his eyes. They seem withheld, as if he was struggling, I could see his mouth move. He wanted to say something, I look back at his eyes, waiting for him to speak. But he doesn't say anything, I knew he wasn't a mute since I had heard him talk. He sighs, his breath is cool and minty. When I had first opened the door, I had felt something for him, something in my heart, as if I had seen him somewhere before. Maybe I did, but he would have mentioned it wouldn't he? I didn't have any recollection of the past prior to the time Mr. Takemura found me and brought me to his house. I hardly go out and when I do go out it is usually near the vicinity of the castle.

'Ren,' I don't understand why it came out as a whisper. Maybe because he was so close I couldn't catch a breath.

His eyes smolder, staring into mine. I see his jaw clench, muscles jumping. He looks at my lips which are a few inches from his. I turn away from him and his proximity, blushing.

'Ren Oda,' I say louder for Mrs. Sakura to hear, my voice breaking in the middle. I hear her footsteps approach the door. He seemed so familiar, I knew I had seen him before but I can't seem to remember where.

Mrs. Sakura opens the door fully to get a better view of us. I had a strange impulse to hide the boy behind me. Mrs. Sakura was someone who had an affinity for gorgeous people, and since this Ren character was a little less than perfect, I knew she would pursue him. She was a beautiful women and had had many affairs with gentlemen that had fallen for her charm. She was a narcissist and loved beautiful people, but at the same time, she was vain and once she had gotten what she wanted she threw it away. I didn't want the boy behind me to fall for her charm, which confused me even more considering the fact that I didn't even know him.

'Well hello there, how can I be of service to you today?' she asks, her voice from before when she had addressed me taking a u-turn to a seductive young women. She was good at that. She butted her hips out and straightened her back so that her chest was pronounced. She was wearing a little red dress that did little to leave anything to the imagination. I looked away, partially in disgust and partly because I didn't want to see him fall for her. It made me feel queasy and depressed. My stomach suddenly felt like it had a ton of bricks inside and my throat was clogged.

'I'm looking for Usui Takamura.'

I jerk my head to him, a shiver threatening to run down my spine. His voice had taken a menacing and threatening tone to it. He hadn't talked to me like that and my lips curved from one side. He hadn't seen me as a threat. I had a childish impulse to stick my tongue out at Mrs. Sakura who stood there, obviously intimidated by him and frustrated that he hadn't responded the way she had liked him to. I saw his eyes flicker to me, but it lasted for a second, but then he did it again. Mrs. Sakura looked at me, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and anger. Oh no, I'm never going to hear the end of it, but for now, I was enjoying the moment.

'Usui Takamura?' he says again, his voice raised, making us both women jump. Mrs. Sakura laughs nervously, folding her arms across her chest, enhancing the rise of her breasts. I fumed in anger. I didn't have as big breasts as she did, but I never tried to impress anyone using such improper means either.

'He isn't here, he'll be back in about three days. Who did you say you were?' she takes a slow and seductive step towards him, swaying her hips.

'Ren Oda,' he says, not noticing her approach.

She's about a few inches away from him and looks up at him through her eyelashes with adoring eyes, a hint of mischief evident in them.

'And who are you to him Ren Oda?'

'A friend,' he says, his jaw suddenly clenches, his eyes turn to mine. I haven't spoken since Mrs. Sakura came, and I wouldn't have anyway. She was his to have, I would never catch the attention of a boy as handsome as he was. As Mrs. Sakura talks to him, I tune her out and turn on my heels, walking away from them. A sudden urge to cry takes over and a heavy feeling enters my stomach, maybe I'm sick. I almost run down the hall, feeling his eyes on my back the whole time.

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><p>I lie on my bed, sorting out the confusing emotions whirling inside me. I didn't know where to start. I didn't understand why I was so confused. I had never felt like this but at the same time, the feeling was so familiar. It didn't hurt but at the same time, it caused me pain. But I was happy and I wanted to see him again. I almost slapped myself. I don't know what was happening to me. I just met the guy!<p>

There's a knock on my door just as I see the sun descending behind the horizon. Mary opens the door. She was my personal maid but she was also the only friend I had since I arrived here.

'Miss Yuki, dinner's ready,' she says almost in a whisper, poking only her head inside.

I smile and thank her, telling her I'd be right down. I sit there for a second, fumbling with my neclace. It was the only relica of my past life that I have. I was wearing it when Mr. Takemura had found me. I treasured it more than anything. It made me feel that I was loved and that reassurance made me smile. I sigh, getting up and going to the bathroom to clean myself up. Mrs. Sakura had probably gotten what she wanted from him. This made me stop in my track, then I lets out a frustrated breath. I don't care, I told myself, I don't care. An image of them in bed came to my mind and my heart clench to such an extent, that I crouch down a little. I put my hand on my head, what's wrong with me? I look at the mirror and wash my face, avoiding any and all thoughts of him. I quickly change to another more suitable dress for dinner. It was a simple lilac colored dress that flowed to my knees. I looked at the mirror.

The color of his eyes. I caught my surprised look in the mirror and laughed to myself, shrugging and leaving the room. But down the hall and I knew Mrs. Sakura would notice what I had only thought a minor issue. She would pester me about it to no end. I ran back to my room and wear a sleeveless midnight blue dress, with half my back exposed except for a criss-cross of the blue material of the dress. I left the room in my white flats. I make my way through the corridor, down the stairs, through the lounge until I reach the dining hall. I open the door without knocking, hearing laughter from inside. I walk inside to see Mrs. Sakura who is sitting at the head of the table, laughing at something Mr. Hugh had said. Mr. Hugh was Mrs. Sakura's most recent foreign lover. He was handsome and had approached me the first time we met. I made it clear that I didn't appreciate him touching my ass when I dumped my drink over his head. I was of course reprimended by Mrs. Sakura but the look of utter horror/confusion/ surprise on Mr. Hugh's face had been worth it. I still laugh to this day when I remember it. I saw Ren sitting on her other side, across the foreigner. He looked bored and uncomfortable. Beside him, there's Mr. Hugh's awkward friend Mr. Thornton. Mrs. Sakura turned to me as she hear the creak of the door.

'Oh it's Yuki. Come join us, we've been waiting for you,' she says, her voice slurred. She's drunk. I hear the scrape of a chair and look to see Ren stand, but only halfway, as if he had stopped and a contemplative look made it way to his face. I give him a confused look, his eyes on me. All eyes are on him and he sits back down, not bothering to explain what happened, he turns back to his drink. There are several maids around the room, all of them there to service our needs, when I say our I mean Mrs. Sakura, none of the others at the table bother them that much.

I sit across Mr. Thornton at the table. For some reason, with Ren here, my heart took on a peaceful state and turned itself into a soft hum, just as an alarm clock would after you turn off the ringing.

As the table fills with noise I look up at everyone's jovial faces, the table has taken on a conversation of a time from long ago when neither Ren and I were there. I looked at Mrs. Sakura. Though she seemed happy and content, I knew she had not gotten to bed Ren, her drunken state explained that part. Though this knowledge made me strangely happy, I saw her eyes flicker to Ren's one too many times. I look down at my plate, after a second I look up through my lashes at Ren as another round of laughter took over the table. This time Mr. Hugo had made an exceptionally funny joke which I had heard too many times but always made everybody laugh. I saw Ren, with his finger on his lips and his elbow resting on the arm rest, instead of laughing at the joke, instead of looking at Mr. Sakura and taking credit of her flirting, was instead watching me with such an intense look in his eyes that it made my face heat up, my heart jump, and I turned away.

'I hope you are well Miss Yuki,' says Mr. Thornton. I had forgotten he existed.

'Very well, thank you. How about you?' I ask to be polite. My pitch a little too high.

Though he was awkward, Mr. Thornton was very handsome with blond hair and brown eyes, and that was the only reason Mrs. Sakura had him in the castle, let alone the table. She had told me that it irritated her when he talked, if he could keep his mouth shut with that face he would be more handsome then his friend Mr. Hugh.

He nods his head, several times too many. 'Very good, indeed. I have been kept up at night reading poems of John Keats. Though I pride myself in saying that I have memorized them. I don't particularly like the sound and sort of childish mode his poems take.'

This was another thing about Mr. Thornton, he thought he was always right, and that he knew absolutely everything.

'What do you mean?' I ask, putting the fork of peas into my mouth.

He let out a laugh at my question, not in anticipation of my answer but because he had found someone who lacked as much intellect as he did. In other words, he wasn't laughing with me, rather at me. 'Well, my dear, how do I explain it, well you can say that the way he describes love is naïve, fake, and ultimately a waste of time.'

I had an urge to stab his hand with my fork. Though it wasn't because what he was saying was false or true it was because anything that came out of his mouth was either praising himself or ridiculing others. And I knew now that he was doing the latter, I also knew for a fact that this man in front of me had never fallen in love so he did not know what he was talking about. Before I could stop myself, my eyes went to Ren's and his eyes were on me. My heart flipped. My face heated and I looked back to Mr. Thornton.

'Waste of time? How?'

He raised his drink and swung it around in his hand.

'Well, it goes like this, girl meets boy, boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get married, happily ever after. But what is true in fact is that it wasn't love that started their journey, it was lust. Lust is what drives the young to do what they think is for the sake of love. They think themselves almighty, all powerful, it is only their mind which has been possessed by this seduction.'

I nod at him, as if I have any idea about what he is talking about.

'So do you think every women who lusts after you is in love with you?'

I turn to Ren, I didn't think he was listening to what we were talking about. Mr. Thornton clears his throat, he may have been acting confident to a girl as small as me, but when he was matched with someone that intimidated him literally, he was always at a loss of words.

'Well, why not? Love is only attraction and if a women says she is in love with me it is because she is willing to bed me. I for one am too modest and would never dishonour a women.'

'Coming from you, I seriously doubt that.'

I choked on my drink and started coughing, tears appearing in my eyes as I grabbed a tissue to cover my face, my laugh was mixed in with my cough, making me wrack my body harder. I turned away from the table as everybody looked at me. I saw a slight smile on Ren's face as he took a sip from his own glass.

Mary comes forwards as if to assist me and I put my hands over hers, letting her know I'm okay. She still has a concerned look on her face as I regain my breath. I smile at her and take a sip of water. Turning back to the people who have successfully failed at making conversation. I smile at them and pretend that the last 20 seconds didn't happen by picking up a piece of potato and putting it in my mouth.


	11. Chapter 11

**(A/N) strong language. You have been warned. Love you all :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>- An Instilled Distance

After dinner, I excused myself from the table and headed to the library. It was the room next to Mr. Takemura's study and even though there was an adjoining door between them, anybody hardly went there except for me. When I had told Mr. Takemura that I would love to travel and go outside of town he brought me numerous books with pictures of exotic places from all over the world. I read about their cultures and their traditions, their rituals and beliefs. I never grew tired of the different view on every page of the books I read. Even so, the longing in my heart to see the world grew even more. I had decided to tell Mr. Takemura when he comes back that I would like to go on one of his trips with him next time. I had asked him something similar before but he had gotten angry at me and refused the notion. This time I would be adament on going. The library was large with every shelf extending from the floor to the ceiling. There was an entire shelf with my books at the side wall of the library, right beside the door to Mr. Takemura's study. I wander through the shelf and after picking a book, go to a couch at the far corner of the room, hidden behind all the shelves. I make myself comfortable and start to read.

After about half-an-hour of emersing myself in the book, I close it and return it to the shelf. As I'm skimming through another one I pick from the shelf I hear voices beyond the door in Mrs. Takemura's study. I would usually ignore this kind of situation but I recognized the second voice as Ren's. The saying curiousity killed the cat came to my mind before I pressed my ear to the door seperating the rooms.

'You still havent told me your relationship with Usui, Ren,' I hear Mrs. Sakura say in a slurred voice. I had been right when I noticed she was drunk.

'I told you, he's just a friend,' I jumped and spun around when I heard his voice. My heart slowed down when I realised he wasn't in the room, rather, right on the other side of the door. Ren's voice was hostile and bored as he answered her. I can imagine him standing in a stiff manner, his back leaning against the door, his arms crossed. She gives him a sultry laugh.

'No, Ren, that's not what I meant. What kind of a friend are you to him?'

I recognize a hint of posessiveness underneath her cheerful voice. He's silent for a few seconds.

'Is that why you called me here? To answer your inane questions?'

She lets out a humorless laugh. Then I hear her take slow steps, advancing towards the door, towards Ren. I know what she's doing. She's trapping him to her. I can imagine her raising her hands to brush his hair behind his ears, lingering a second longer on his skin. Every man had run after her when she used this method on them, with her eyes raised underneath her heavy lashes, her lips pouted no man had ever resisted her advances. Ren would be no different.

'I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning. I wasn't thinking straight. You had my mind in a whirl.'

She whispered the last part to herself, but she had wanted him to hear since I had heard and I was on the other side of the door. I hear some movement on the other side and I have to force myself to not open the door and see what's going on.

'You're drunk,' Ren says, his voice annoyed.

Mrs. Sakura laugh. 'No I'm not. Why don't you stop resisting. I won't tell Usui if anything happens between us.'

A deep ache entered my heart. She was almost there, he would be under her spell in no time. I almost groaned at the pain that went through me like lightening, but I didn't move away. I wanted to see how this played out. I wanted to see how Ren would react to her. I wanted to see the effect it would have on me so I could understand why I was feeling the way I was towards him. I hear her let out a gasp, and I the sound of her heels taking a step back.

'There's nothing going on between us,' Ren hisses, as if through gritted teeth.

'Do you want to change that?'

'I'm not interested in old women.'

I hear her let out an exasperated breath. 'Yeah, you'd rather f*ck that little b*tch. I see the way you look at her. She won't satisfy you, she will never be able to satisfy anyone except for Usui, she's his personal wh*re-'

I jump back as a crashing sound of a table and the screech of a chair. Mrs. Sakura screams and then there's silence except for the echo of what just happened. I can hear her ragged breath through the door. My own heart pounds against my chest.

'You should watch what you say with that pretty mouth of yours. I wouldn't mind shutting it permanently for you.'

I shiver at the pure hostility and anger instilled in his voice. I move away from the door, my knees shaking. I slowly put the book on the shelf before I can drop it and tip-toe out of the room. The door to the study is slightly ajar as I looked in. Mrs. Sakura was leaning back on the table, a chair had been thrown on the ground and papers were scattered around the floor. Another small table was toppled over. Ren had his back to me so I couldn't see him. I turn the other way and start walking down the hall, my forehead perspiring. I didn't notice I had been holding my breath until I let it out when I was sure I was out of ear-shot. Maybe he did know me, why else would he defend me to such an extent. It could be because he didn't like Mrs. Sakura and her ways, or that he lost his temper. But whatever reason, he had done it for me and an unexplainable jolt of exhileration shot through my body. I finger the neclace around my neck. I felt light-headed with happiness for a second. I let myself smile. I noted footsteps coming towards me, I look up to see Mr. Thornton coming my way. He smiles at me and I smile back, the happiness from before still inside me. I see a bright hue come to his cheeks and his eyes suddenly looking everywhere except into mine.

'May I speak with you Yuki?'

Though I wanted to go to my room and replay the entire incident through my head, I knew I shouldn't be rude to him as he was a guest. As I was about to give him my affirmitive answer, I hear another set of footsteps coming our way. They weren't heels that Mrs. Sakura was wearing so it could have been either Ren or Mr. Hugh. I didn't care if it was Mr. Hugh but I didn't know how I could face Ren after eavesdropping on him. I didn't want to take the chance so I turn back to Mr. Thrnton and decline his offer.

'I've been feeling under the weather since dinner, I'm really tired right now. I'll speak with you tomorrow.'

Without waitinmg for a reply, I fled to my own domain.

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><p>Later that night, after I had taken a shower and worn my night-dress, I went to bed. However, as soon as my head hit the pillow the moans and groans from Mrs. Sakura's room next-door fill my ears and echo against the walls of my room. I let out a sigh, I guess it was okay for her not to sulk at Ren's rejection of her. But still, jumping from one man to another was in her character and it would hurt her one day. I hear the moans getting louder and I knew better then anyone that they would continue all night. Mrs. Sakura was loud when she wanted to be, she was probably doing it on purpose so that the boy with the silver hair in the room down the hall would hear her, letting him know that she was indeed attainable.<p>

Without a second thought, I decide to sleep in the spare room at the other end of the castle. It was located at the far side of the building and I would be able to get a good nights sleep there. I take the candle holder and leave my room, the light of the fire flickering and illuminating my path. I close the door behind me carefully and make my way down the hall. The corridors are quiet except for the soft moans I hear, as well as the creaking of the bed they were on. I almost gagged. I keep walking when I feel the hair at the back of my neck prickle. I felt someone watching me. My heart jumps in my throat and I turn around but there was no one there. I hold the candle higher as to provide a bit more light, but all I see is the empty black hallway. I internally shrug, though my heart beats with fear. Calm down Yuki. I make my way through a number of corridors and a set of spiralling staircase. I reach the room and open the door. We didn't usually give this room to guests because it was old and smaller then the other ones, but I loved the cozy feel of it. The walls were bare except for a two windows on the wall opposite the bed, from those windows you could see the ocean in the distance. I would occasioanlly come here when the sun would rise, time would stop and I would feel utter peace. A small wooden maroon side table was placed beside the bed, there was a round table with three chairs set around it, a small couch in front of the bed as well, and a table with a mirror stood opposite to the door, directly in front of me.

I close the door behind me and it makes a creaking sound, the noise against the silence made me wince. I went to close the curtains of the window, but when I did, I felt a breeze, a breeze that so short and sharp that I was certain it had not come from outside. I checked to see if they were closed. My heart stilled when I realized they were. There was someone in the room. My body broke into a wrack of shivers, I turn around slowly, adjusting my eyes to the blackness. I see a dark figure standing at the corner of the room. I gasp, the candle-bra slips from my hand and lands on the ground with a loud clattering sound. The only source of light is gone, now the room is completely dark. My breathing is loud and heavy. I tell myself not to panic, to calm down. I have to get out, I think to myself. I will my feet to move and walk with my back towards the wall, I lean back against it and follow it to where the door is, trying with all my might not to make a sound. Suddenly, I feel someone standing directly in front of me. I swing my hand at it, letting out a grunt. It catches my hands and I'm suddenly pushed against the wall, its body is against mine, rendering me motionless with it's strength. It was a males body, I knew that much. I let out a breath I had been holding, he takes both my hands in his and traps them over my head with one hand, I struggle to get free. My throat is clogged and I can't scream, even if I did, I didn't think anyone would hear me. Broken sobs wrack my body. I struggled against him, but his body pressed harder to mine, my breasts are pushed up against his. I felt the heat radiate from his body. His hand travels down my arm to my face, caressing my cheek so gently I slow my thrashing, breathing hard now. I knew what he wanted to do, but I wouldn't let him, he would have to go to Mrs. Sakura for that. His hands travel lower to my neck and he traces it softly over my neclace, the places where his hands touch burns my skin, and I shiver at the contact. I lay my head against the wall closing my eyes, trying to regain my strength from the thrashing. His head moves closer and he rests his mouth against the side of my neck, where Mr. Takumi's puncture wounds were. Though the wound had healed, it's effects were still somewhat evident when you looked at it closely. My eyelids fly open when I feel him kiss me there. I knew that the person in front of me wasn't a vampire, so I didn't have to be a afraid being bitten, but there was still all the other things he could do. The tight hold on my wrists loosens, but I don't move. I know this body, I think to myself, I've felt it before. A sudden flash of a memory comes to mind, but it feels like holding water at the palm of my hands, the more I try to remember it, the more it slips away. It feels like a haze. I realize that I've felt this sensation of happiness and fear and joy and loneliness overcome me. He rests his head on my shoulder, I don't move. Who are you? I will myself to ask, but before I can, the apparition speaks.

'You don't remember me do you?'

Then he is gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**- Listen to What I Don't Say

I woke up late the next morning feeling stiff and groggy. I hadn't slept well last night. I'd been too scared to sleep. I kept thinking about what had happened with the ghostly figure. Now, with the light in the room, everything felt normal, and last night felt like a dream. For some reason, when I really think about it, he wasn't frightening, I had only thought him to be. I admit, he had acted like a rapist, but his movements and his actions were gentle, especially when he had touched me, almost as if I were glass. I felt the longing in his voice when he uttered those words.

'_You don't remember me do you?_'

What did he mean? did he know me from before? Or was he just a pycho? What if I had just imagined it? Or even dreamed it? I grunted, Ugh, this was so confusing. Then the thought that had been on my mind all night evaded my thoughts. Was it Ren? There were three men in the castle as well as a number of butlers. But I had a feeling it was him because I knew neither Mr. Hugh or Mr. Thornton would ever have been as gentle as he was. The actions seemed so familiar, yet I knew I had never experianced anything like that from what I could remember. I might just ask him. My stomach filled with butterflies with the thought. Why was I so nervous when it was him? Was it because I thought I knew him, that he may know something about me, or because he was so beautiful? No, Mr. Hugh was beautiful, as well as Mr. Takemura and Mr. Thornton. With Ren it wasn't just a fleeting attraction, there was a feeling of something deeper. What the hell? didn't I just meet the guy. I buried my face into my pillow, just then I remember that if I was late for breakfast, I'd be at the mercy of Mrs. Sakura. I jump out of bed and make my way to the door, rushing down the hallways, up the stairs, through the large corridors. I let out a relieved breath to discover the corridor outside my room was vacant. A door suddenly appears in my vision, I'm about to slam into it and instead land against someone. I look up, apologizing at whoever I had bumped into. Amethyst eyes gaze intently into mine, his arms are raised as if to catch me. My heart rate quickens but I ignore it and smile at him.

'Good morning Ren.'

His eyes smoulder and turn sad, I almost wrap my arms around him. He drops his arms against the side of his body, 'Morning,' he murmers.

'Are you going for breakfast?' I ask, to keep up the conversation, it was the first time after he had told me his name that I was alone with him, unless he was with me last night. He nods to me, his eyes softening into something else I couldn't decipher. His hair fell over his eyes, hiding his features. Without thinking, I lift my hands to his face and carefully move his hair away to the side.

'That's better,' I say, smiling. Pulling my hands away. I had a sudden sense of deja vu. I realized what I've done and blush at my frankness. I look down when suddenly he pulls my hand and holds my body against his, hugging my body to his, his face buried in my neck, breathing down hot sighs. I gasp.

'Sorry, could you just stay like this for a second?' he asks, his voice is strained, as if he has a cold, but his forehead didn't feel hot when I moved his hair away. I feel my heart speed up. The corridor is eerily silent and I don't move. My heart feels weary and my mind blanks, I close my eyes and lean against him, breathing in his scent. He sighs, almost in relief. I know this feeling, it feel as if your flying, but at the same time falling, your on top of the world and standing in between time, you don't want this moment to end. There is a bright and blurred image in my mind, like a water painting, I can't make anything out. But there's brown and white... it's a stable... I think. And the white thing has a tail… a cow… no it's bigger… a horse. There is someone in front of me. The figure takes my hand and place it over it's heart, it beats with life, I look up at the figure again, I can't see his face, like when you look at the sun, you can't look directly at it.

'_I love you too, Yuki.'_

'Zero.'

He stiffens his arms around me, he pushes himself away, his eyes wide and confused, yet they shine.

'What did you say?'

I'm breathing hard, that had never happened to me before. Who was Zero? I pull away from him, my palms sweating and my forehead perspiring. His grip tightens. I let out a small cry, his eyes glaze and he lets me go. I run around him, into my room, I slam the door and lean against it, falling to the ground in a heap. I then start crying. Not because I was scared for what I had remembered, or because I was confused, it was because the happiness I had felt with just that memory made my heart break and tears come to my eyes, and all because of that boy, the boy who has said he loved me. I cried until there were no tears left. What happened to me? I thought to myself. I didn't know who that boy was, but what I did know without a doubt is that my entire being belonged to him.

* * *

><p>I skip breakfast and lunch, only emergeing from my room after taking a shower and calming myself down. I decided to not ignore the vision, rather not let it make me lose my mind. If I was abandoned or left somewhere with nothing with me except the clothes on my back and the neclace, atleast I know that I was once loved so much that the memory of it had me crying. I would wait for Mr. Takemura to come back and ask him my questions. If I started thinking about it now, the only thing I would accomplish would be getting a migraine. I headed straight for the kitchen. None of the cooks paid much attention to me, they were preparing tea for everyone. I grabbed an apple and went to the library so I could be alone. I didn't want to see Ren. I was scared for my feelings. I was scared of the way my heart reacted when I was with him. It was painful, more like an ache. But I didn't hate it. It felt real and it made me happy. Was I turning into a sadist? I shook my head to rid myself of the thought, blushing a little. I open the door and made my way to the usual shelf.<p>

After emersing myself in my usual spot behind all the shelves for about an hour, I heard the door creak open slightly. I got up and made my way to see who it was. The thought of it being Ren made my heart thump like a drum. I got to the entrance to find Mr. Thornton there. There was something antique about the library that made it look ancient and dirty. Mr. Thornton contrasted with the library like a sore-thumb. While he was dressed rich and poshly, the library was dry and old and dusty. All these things made me love it even more since it's the last place Mrs. Sakura would enter.

'Good afternoon Yuki,' he says kindly yet awkwardly. He too felt uncomfortable in a place that did not show his material worth.

I smile at him, as a way to calm him down. 'Good afternoon Mr. Thornton. Is there something you need?'

'Um, no. Actually, yes. Um,' I see a dull hue rising from his neck and from his ears. Why is he blushing?

'Are you feeling alright?' I asked, concerned. He shook his head.

'Yes yes, I'm quite alright. I needed to talk to you.'

Yesterdays conversation comes to my mind. I had completely forgotten about that. I blush at my mistake.

'I'm sorry I forgot about what you said yesterday. I had alot of things on my mind.'

He nods. Then he turns quiet for a second, I wait for him to speak since he seemed to be struggling. Mrs. Sakura had been right when she had said he was good-looking. If he wouldn't be so self-centered and arrogant all the time, I would have noticed this befopre.

'Can we go for a walk?'

I stare at him blankly. It's the first time someone had asked me that. Usually Mrs. Sakura's guest didn't want to rid themselves of her, like lovesick puppies. I lick my lips in contemplation and nod my head.

'Let me just get my things.'

He nods, 'I'll meet you at the door.'

I make my way to my room. Since the weather is cool and the sun shines brightly I only take a large white hat with me. I'm wearing a pink cap-sleeved summer dress and white ballet flats. I find Mr. Thornton at the door and we go outside. He's quiet as we walk and I don't break it. It's midday so the sun's glare isn't that repundant. We walk through the path to the back of the house. There is a big pond at the back that extends from the manor and around the land in a large rectangle. We follow the footpath that leads us away from the castle and we walk beside the water, our forms hidden under the weeping willow trees. The birds chirping and the sway of the water calms me and I have an urge to lie on the grass and sleep.

'Have you ever thought about marriage Yuki?'

I had almost forgotten he was here. I turn to him, speculating his features to see if he was making fun of me. He wasn't.

'I have just begun living my life again. It's been a year since Mr. Takemura took me in. I didn't have time to think of marriage much Mr. Thornton.'

'Please, call me John.'

'John,' I nod at him to tell him I would.

We were quiet a distance away from the castle. Though it looked like an abandoned one, it was beautiful with tall towers and an elaborate victorian style. I heard the sound of a goose-cry.

'I was wondering if you would do me the honour?'

I turn to him, he had stopped walking and I turn to look at him. He stares into my eyes and I blush at his intense gaze.

'W- what do you mean?'

'I know you don't have much and that you cannot do without the Takemura name on your back but I want you to consider my offer of marriage.'

I suck in my breath in surprise.

'B-but you don't even like me.'

He shrugs his shoulders, a bored look on his face. I wanted to slap him. 'I could, in time.'

I start taking deep breaths in and out, to calm myself. He wanted to marry me. Ren suddenly comes to my mind and my stomach dips, my heart clenches.

'Uh.' I clench my eyes shut.

'Are you alright,' he asks, concerned.

'I'm fine. And I need to ask Mr. Takemura and Mrs. Sakura.'

Since they own me, I think to myself but don't say it outloud.

He nods. I stare at him, what would my life be with someone like him. Though I didn't love him, I would be able to leave this place. Leave everything behind. I would be able to travel the world. I might be able to find out what had happened to me.

'Give me time to think about it.'

He looks at me, hopeful. He smiles and begin to think that I really would consider it. Another reason given for the migraine in my head to increase.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) oooooooooohhhhhh, wonder how Zero's gonna react. I BET I KNOW. MUAHAHAHAHAHA *is shot**

**Comment please. LOVE YOURSELVES **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**- Locked Inside Your Heart-Shaped Box

John had left me beside the pond, telling me to think about his proposal.

'I do like you Yuki,' he had said before leaving, 'I'd like to make you happy.'

I didn't know how much of that I could believe. I had never noticed his interest in me. Maybe he thinks that I'll be like Mrs. Sakura; elegant, flirty, mischivous, good in bed. If so, he had another thing coming, I could never be like her. I walk through the length of the large body of water and without a second thought, enter the forest that surrounded the castle. Walking through the trees calmed my nerves and, for the moment, I stopped thinking about John. I often come here to think, I had explored this place enough to know where everything was since I wasn't allowed outside the castle. I walk through the path that led to the stream. I stumble, but catch myself in time so as to not get my clothes dirty. I hear the chirping of the birds and the rays of sunlight that fight to get through the expanse of trees. I follow the sound of trickling water until I get to the stream, I walk to the bridge and sit down in the middle, my legs dangling my arms laid across the rail. I lay my chin on my arm and stare at the scenery. This was the only place where I could forget everything about myself. It was like I didn't matter, that if I just closed my eyes and fell limp, life would lead me where I was supposed to be. I hear a twig snap and my head turns to the sound, my heart jumping. It was Ren. I don't move, though my legs stop swinging. I stare at him, making him to be an apparition. I remember what had happened when we had met this morning. I was rude to him when he had asked me if I was alright. A guilty feeling filled me and I swallowed the knot that had formed in my throat. He stares at me for a second then takes a step forward, when I don't move, he takes another, then another. He comes and sits down beside me, I stare at him as he looks at the stream, his eyes downcast.

'What's wrong?' I ask, not because I wanted to know why he was here, but because he looked so sad and lonely.

He shakes his head and turns away. I look back to the stream. There's a comfortable silence in the air. A strange emotion grows inside me and I start to feel giddy and light. I felt for a second that I could trust this familiar starnger sitting beside me with my life.

'I can't remember anything from what happened in my life prior to a year. I've lived with Mrs. Sakura since I came, Mr. Takumi saved me. He told me when I woke up that he found me in the forest, bleeding to death. He took care of me. I owe my life to him,' I clench and unclench my hands. I look to him, he's looking towards the stream, his eyes are staring straight and they're hard, he's furrowing his eyebrows. I keep talking, 'He doesn't stay home much but when he does he's always nice to me, I do miss him sometimes, but other times I'm glad he's gone.'

The last part came out in a whisper and Ren turns to me, his eyebrows still furrowed yet his gaze softens as he looks at me.

'Why?'

I shrug non-chalantly, 'I'm scared of him.'

I had never told anybody that, not even Mary. Everybody respected and looked up to him, I felt if I didn't at least put up on a façade, that everybody would hate me and turn me out of the house. So I would smile and welcome Mr. Takumi whenever he came back. He knew I was scared of him, so he didn't come to me unless he needed blood. He had never touched me as he did Mrs. Sakura, though he had been close to a number of times.

As if reading my mind, he asks, 'Why are you telling me this?'

I stare into his eyes, they were so deep and beautiful. I saw red creep up from his neck and his ears. I smile, thinking I could make someone as beautiful as him blush. I reprimend myself, it was because he was cold.

'I trust you,' I answer truthfully.

He stares at me, not averting his eyes. At that moment I felt that there was only him and me in this world, that no one else mattered. I didn't care how selfish that sounded because I wanted to be with him. But why? Why did I want him? The emotions I felt of my heart clenching and my breath becoming ragged were similar to those in my vision and dreams. They were so strong and real, and they were for one boy, a boy named Zero. These thoughts and feelings were so frustrating and delicate that tears were brought to my eyes, his eyes turned panicked and he raised his hands and placed his palm against my cheek.

'What's wrong Yuki?'

I close my eyes and sighed, the pain diminishing completely, though the bitter-sweet ache in my heart stayed. My cheeks against his palm were warm and tingled. When he had said my name, I felt a surge go though my body. What was happening to me?

'Nothing. I'm sorry for making you listen to me complain,' I say softly, smiling at him and getting up on my feet. His hands fall limp on his lap. 'I'd better go before they think I've run away.'

I turn and walk back to the castle, not looking back.

* * *

><p>That evening at dinner I sat on my usual spot at the end of the table. As the food was served, Mrs. Sakura stared to talk to Mr. Hugh and I sneaked a look at Ren. He was picking at his food without eating.<p>

'Don't you like fish Ren?'

He looks up at me, a little shocked. I almost roll my eyes at him. I wasn't a mute, he didn't have to look so surprised if I was talking to him. I see him grip the fork in his hand harder.

'I do like it.'

'Then are you sick? Your not eating.'

He shakes his head. 'I just have a lot on my mind,' he says, his eyes intense against mine. I blush and nod understandingly. My eyes locked to his. I can't seem to look away, they were so beautiful. I only realized what I had been doing when John clears his throat. I realize I'd been holding my breath. I feel my face heat up and I look back down at my plate.

'Mrs. Sakura, I have asked for Yuki's hand in marriage.'

I feel myself stiffen in shock. The table suddenly grows eerily silent. The clatter of plates has stopped and so has the laughing and the talking. What did he just say?

'I would like to ask yours and Mr. Takemura's permission before that. I hope you will consider my proposal.'

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I can't believe this is happening. I wouldn't care if it was only Mrs. Sakura and the two foreigners in the room along with the maids but all my anxiety came because of boy sitting in front of me. My face heated up and my head hurt, my insides felt heavy. I wanted to barf. I had told him that I would think about it and that I would talk to them myself, what is so hard for his miniature brain to understand. I finally look up, Ren's eyes are on mine, his eyebrows drawn together and a strange emotion fills his eyes. I can't explain it. He's hurt. I know that much, but why? Confused, I stare at him until his features change turn blank so quick that I almost believed I imagined his face contorted in pain. His jaw is clenched, his hands are made in fists and his hair convers his eyes. I look to Mrs. Sakura to see her smiling at John.

'Oh my, such good news. I give you two all of my blessings. Yuki will be very happy with you.'

Everything was happening in slow-motion, it took a few seconds to register what she had said. 'But I havn't given an answer yet,' I blurt out. I see Ren lift his face to look at me from the corner of my eye. Relief washes through me, though I can't be sure why. John, on the other hand, grits his teeth and turns to me, his eyes hard. Mrs. Sakura raises her eyebrows at me.

'I, uh, wanted to know what Mr. Takemura would say,' I said, in a hopeless attempt for an excuse. Mrs. Sakura smiles a sickening smile at me.

'I'll take care of that Yuki, you don't have to worry. We want the best for you after all.'

Liar. Her eyes dart to Ren. He's looking down, leaning back against his chair, his shoulders slumped, his features blank.

'Why don't you two consumate the engagement,' she says, her eyes are hard and mischievous, the smile plastered on her face.

'What do you mean?' asks John. She shrugs and leans back on her chair.

'Kiss her.'

I stiffen and see Ren whip his head to Mrs. Sakura, glaring at her so darkly I felt the room dim in the lighting. Her eyes widen and she gulps audibly, but suddenly pulls herself togetehr. I shake my head at her.

'I have not yet agreed to the engagement,' I say, my voice cracking. She was doing this on purpose because Ren was there. She had noticed how I acted when he was here. I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack. She smiles and winks at me.

'But I have given you my consent.'

I grit my teeth together, 'That doesn't matter.'

John turns to me and smiles. I gape at him, he can't be serious. He takes my for-arm and pulls me to him**, **I pull myself back and am about to get up when he pulls me to him again. I slap him across the face. The dining hall quietens again. I'm too angry to care, I get up, scraping my chair back and stand in front of John who has a shocked look on his face, his cheeks pink with the effects of my slap.

'I decline your offer. If you can't respect me I don't think I can ever love someone as dimwitted as you. '

I turn and leave the room. I hear someone call my name but it only makes me walk away faster.

* * *

><p>I pace back and forth across my room, anger leaking to every limb of my body. I wanted to scream and rip someones head off especially that sorry-excuse-for-a-man John who I was kinda warming up to, and he had to screw it up by acting like an arrogant wart-hog. I hated the way he had acted, the way he had inconsiderately ignored my words and just asked Mrs. Sakura the way he did. It made me feel like a child who's decision had to be made for them. I land with a huff on my bed and reach for my pillow. I bring it to my face and scream into it for a good minute. That made me feel better though it left me with a sore throat. There's a knock on my door, I sigh out loud. I knew this was coming. As if I could ignore the inevitable. I suddenly regret making a scene the way I did in the dining hall.<p>

'Yuki, may I come in?'

I groan. Speak of the devil. I get up and open the door enough so that there's not enough space for John to come in. He takes an awkward step forward thinking I would let him in, I stand my ground.

'Can I talk to you'

I stare at him, urging him on. Not saying anything, he should be grateful I didn't close the door on his face. He moves from his left foot to the right looking into my room.

'Talk,' I say, folding my arms over my chest. I was still angry at him and this innocent expression he showed me pissed me off even more.

'I was hoping I could come in.'

I wait for a few seconds, debating if it's a good idea inside my head. Finally, I sigh and let him in.

'Thank you,' he says, ducking inside. I leave the door slightly ajar and he goes and stands by the window. I sit down at the edge of my bed.

'I'm sorry for the way I acted.'

I nod my head, my anger dissipating a little, atleast he knew he was wrong and felt bad about it.

'It's alright.'

He looks at me. 'Will you still consider?'

I don't look at him, I'm too confused about my feelings right now. He would provide for me and I would live comfortably. But I didn't love him. What was love anyway? Why do I need it? An image of Ren comes to mind and I almost slap myself. What was that? I didn't love Ren did I? It was just my heart overreacting to a man. A man who was unlike any of the other men I had ever seen. So kind and mysterious and beautiful. I shake my head.

'Are you rejecting me?'

I look up at him, he looked angry and I realized I had answered no to his question.

'N-no not really.'

'What do you mean "not really",' he lets out a frustrated sigh.

I look down and start fiddling my fingers. I knew I would be able to leave this place and be able to find out more about myself but John was someone I couldn't picture myself with. I didn't love him I knew that and for some reason, the thought depressed me. I couldn't marry him. I didn't want to. I look up at him, straight to his eyes and tell him the truth.

'I'm declining your offer. I'm sorry John.'

It takes him a second to fully grasp what I had said and then his face contorts in anger.

'And why not?'

'I don't love you.'

He lets out a humourless laugh. 'Love? Stupid girl, I'm offering you more then that but you and your childish emotions have made you insensible.'

'I'm sorry,' I say quietly, letting him take out all his anger on me. I probably deserved it, but I couldn't deny that there was an entire weight lifted from my shoulders. And I was itching to breath a sigh of relief.

He strides to me, I look up at him and he kneels before me, taking both my hands in his.

'Please Yuki, I'll make you happy.'

I shake my head and pull my hands away, getting up. My instincts were telling me to leave him alone, to not be near him right now when he was emotionally unstable. 'I'm sorry John, I have given you my answer. You can leave now.'

'I'm not leaving until you agree to marry me.'

'John,' I say loudly, with as much authority as I could muster. 'I'm sorry, but I've given you my answer and I'm asking you to leave.'

Slowly, he gets up and I walk to the door and open it for him. He comes and stops in front of me. I don't look at him. He brings his hands up and grabs my hair from the back of my head. I gasp as he pulls it so my face is looking at his. He brings his mouth to mine and before I know what's happening, he's pulled from me. I let out a grunt as my hair is pulled half-way along with him. Ren's standing there with his hand on Johns which grips a handful of my hair. His eyes are on me as he prys Johns hands from my hair. I stare at him.

'Hey, What are you doing?'

I look to John who is about to fall over, but Ren has his hands on his arms, as soon as he lets go, John lands with a thud outside my room.

'Sorry, my hand acted on its own.'

'I'm going to-'

Ren pulls me to my room and locks the door behind him. I'm breathing hard and the events that just happened can't seem to arrange themselves in my head. What would have happened if Ren hadn't come, what if John had had his way with me. It's suddenly hard to catch my breath and I have a feeling I'm about to hyperventilate when I feel Ren take my face between his hands. I look at him, his face is in level with mine, inches away from my own. His eyes are intense in mine and I feel my heart skip a beat and it becomes harder to take a breath. Well he wasn't helping.

'Yuki, breath.'

I stare at him and try to follow what he says. I calm down a few minutes later. His eyes never leaving mine. I look down from his gaze and his hands hover awkwardly on my face then fall to his side. My face falls so as to hide my blush.

'I'm sorry you had to see that,' I say, my words coming out as a whisper.

'Why are you apologizing,' he asks, his fists clench on his sides, 'It was his fault. He's lucky I left him as I did.'

'What do you mean?'

He stares at me. He doesn't speak for so long that I thought he hadn't heard me.

'You should go to sleep?'

With that, he turns. A familiar emotion fills me and without thinking, my hand reaches out and grabs his sleeves. He stops and turns to me, surprised. My face heats and I let go of his sleeve.

'Uh, sorry. My mistake.'

I look down, trying to hide my blush. I had reached for his hands instinctively, as if it was the most natural thing to be alone with a man who was a stranger not a few days ago when you feel lonely. This was embarrassing. I see him reach for my hand. I look up to him, the blush still on my face, my heart accelerating to a new level. He holds it so delicately, that I begin to feel fragile, my insides feel light. He brings my hand to his face and kisses my knuckles. It takes everything I have to physically stop my knees from buckling. He stares at me, taking in my reaction. My heart beats so loud, I'm certain he hears it. Heat travels through my body, the place where he touches me are on fire. What's with this reaction? I've never felt anything like this before. I wanted more, I wanted him to kiss me, to hold me. I have to remind myself to breath. He moves my hand away from my face and then smiles. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was still alive and breathing, it felt like time had stopped. I felt light-headed and giddy. What's happening? Why am I feeling like this with just a smile? And towards Ren? I pull my hands away. He smile lowers and his eyes turn sad, pain fills me and I want his smile back.

'Don't be sorry,' he says in a small voice.

I swallow the knot that had formed in my throat. It didn't feel like this was happening to me, it felt like I was living in someone elses body. I look down and nod at him to tell him I understood, I couldn't bear to look at him right now. I hear his footsteps and the opening of my door.

'Goodnight Ren,' I say, so low I thought he hadn't heard me.

But after a second I hear him. 'Goodnight Yuki.'

* * *

><p><strong>(AN) Okay is it just me or is this story kinda dragging? well ill finish it real quick, thats why im making the chapters longer :) lolies. Okay so I just decided to dedicate my entire story to "amethystblossoms's number1 fan" I swear I did a double-take when i read your name. THANKS SOOOO MUCH, i swear you made me sooo happy.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**- The Angel From My Nightmares

That night I had fallen into an exhausted sleep. I dream about a garden, I was sitting on a swing while the same boy I had had a vision about appeared and pushed me. It was only a fleeting dream, and I had forgotten his face when I woke up from it in the middle of the night. The world is still dark outside as I try to catch my breath and calm my heart down. I get up, my knees buckling slightly, my body shaking. I pull myself together and go to the bathroom for a glass of water. The light blinds me so I keep it off. I lean my head back against the door, closing my eyes. I have to do something about these dreams. I had read that it was impossible to dream about someone you had never seen before. But that wasn't it, I knew I knew him. Just the ache in my heart confirmed it whenever I thought about it. A strange thought entered my mind, Didn't my heart ache the same way when I was anywhere near Ren. I shook my head, I was drunk on sleep. I push myself off the door and make my way out of the bathroom. It was frustrating when something was nudging you at the back of your mind, and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't reach it. Suddenly, I hear a muffled cry. I jump and look towards the door, it had come from outside. I creep to my door and open it. The corridors are pitch black but I focus on my hearing. There is silence. I'm sure I didn't hear the sound from Mr. Sakura's room, rather the opposite direction. I hear a groan, I whip my head to the direction and walk out my room towards it. I walk faster as I approach the door. Ren's door. I stand in front of it, not moving, my heart pounding, and my breath coming in gasps. I knock lightly on the door. I hear another groan, and in a panic I open the door.

'Ren,' I whisper into the darkness. I see a figure on the bed, rolling and thrashing. It must be a bad dream, I think to myself. I make my way towards the bed in a hurry. I take hold of his hand and move them out of the way as I start shaking his shoulders.

'Ren. REN,' I say, half-whispering, half- screaming, 'Wake up!'

I hear him gasp, and then he opens his eyes. His clothes cling to him because his body is caked in sweat. He moves his head around, his gaze flailing, breathing hard, still gasping.

'Shh,' I say, to calm his nerves and mine, my heart and body relax as he returns to reality, 'It's alright Zero.'

I freeze. Zero. Why did I say that? This is Ren. His eyes land on mine and they open in surprise.

'Sorry...Ren, I'm a little out of it right now. That just came out.'

His eyes are still intense on mine and I'm glad it's dark so my blush is hidden. The moonlight from outside shows Ren's features contorted, it was like he wanted to say something but couldn't. I reach my hand up and move his hair away from his forehead softly. Its damped in sweat. I move it across his forehead, he sighs and I see him relax, closing his eyes.

'Yuki,' he whispers so softly, I thought he was dreaming. Ah, my heart hurts. I move my hands away, and I see him looking at me with such sadness in his eyes, I almost reach out and embrace him. I keep myself in check however.

'You had a bad dream,' I whisper, 'It's going to be okay.'

He reaches up and takes hold of my hand. I don't move, though my heart accelerate and a blush starts forming on my face. He just holds it, not moving, as if he's content with just this. I don't move either, his touch sending tingles through my body.

'Do I know you?' I ask him suddenly. He doesn't move, maybe he fell asleep. I keep talking though. 'It's just that you seem so familiar,' I use my other hand and almost instinctively, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, start stroking his hair. He breaths out another sigh. 'I think you're the person in my dreams, I can't figure it out but I feel as if I know you. I'm not a stalker or anything,' I say, laughing through my nose, 'but I just want to know. I want to remember my past.'

I stroke his hair, though half of it is damp, the other half is soft and feel good to the touch. He's breathing deeply. I stare at his face. _So familiar_.

'I'm sorry your hurting Yuki, but I can't help you. You'll have to remember yourself. I wish I...I'd do anything to...I'm sorry I can't help.'

I stare at his face, he seems to be struggling and my heart goes out to him. I see him open his eyes slowly.

'I'm going to take a shower,' he says softly, almost to himself. I move away, he gives my hand a final squeeze before letting go. He gets up and walk to the bathroom, picking up a towel that hung on the shelf on the way. I stay where I am. He was right, I had to remember everything myself. But how? This whole year, day after day I was trying to figure out what had happened to me before I came here. No matter how many times I had asked Mr. Takumi, he had always said that he didn't know and had always tried to avoid the subject. I stopped bothering them about it when Mrs. Sakura told me it was annoying and it bothered them. But this whole time, living in this castle, even with so many people around me, or even alone in my bedroom, I had felt some kind of hopelessness in my heart, such a big hole that I didn't know what to do but live with it. I had felt lonely, so lonely.

I felt a hand on my cheek. I turn to see Ren standing beside me, his head in level with mine, his hair drips on its ends with water, a concerned and sad look in his eyes. I stare at him, he looks as lonely as I do.

'What wrong?'

His voice brings me back to reality. My eyes widen as I realize I have tears running down my face. I turn my head away from his scrutiny.

'Nothing,' I say, my voice cracking. His hands move my face back to his again, I keep my eyes downcast. It was embarrassing to see me like this, vulnerable and exposed. His thumbs caress my cheeks, wiping my tears. I sigh, there was no one in this world who would ever even attempt this kind of gesture with me, so why him? I look at his eyes, they stare intently into mine and before I notice anything, I find my lips moving towards his, I hear him swallow and his hand on my jaw stiffens. He sighs, fanning my face with a cool and minty smell. He moves his hands away and stands back up. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, embarrassed. What the hell was I just about to do?

'Are you okay?' I ask, remembering why I had come.

I look up at him and he looks away, his bangs hiding his eyes, 'Yeah, sorry for making you worry.'

I shake my head, 'No worries.'

There's an awkward silence, my face was on fire as I remember that I was about to kiss him. 'Well, I'll just go back then.'I get up and walk past him when he grabs my wrist, I turn back to him, but he lets go in an instant. Tingles run up and down my arm. I almost smile when I remember that I had done the same just a few hours ago. So I ask him what I wish he'd said.

'Do you want me to stay?' I whisper, taking a step towards him. I hear him swallow audibly. I take his hand and pull him to the bed. He follows me, I feel like a puppet master, leading my toy to do my bidding. I push him softly on the bed and he lays down, his eyes on me. I get on and climb over him and lay on his other side. I don't know why I was acting like I was. It's because I have nothing to lose and because I wanted to. I see his hands clenched and his jaw tight. I climb up and lift my head and place it on my hand, so that my face hovers over his. I bring my other hand up and start to trace the features of his face. _I've seen you before_. He sighs and my finger moves over his eyes and forehead, eyebrows, his nose, his cheeks, his jawbone, and finally his lips. My hands linger there, and I stare at them, his mouth slowly opens and he breaths into them. I lean forward and kiss him softly on his temple, taking him by surprise. His eyes shoot open and I move away from him. I lay back down, facing him. I take his hand and hold it.

'Good night,' I say.

I feel his eyes on my as I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>I wake up feeling so warm and comfortable that I don't want to get up. Light now floods the room. I turn, groaning, and bring the covers to my face. Stupid light. I open my eyes to see Ren staring at me, his body turned towards me. After a few seconds of confusion, I get up. Memories of last night flood into my mind. I let out a breath and look at him, his eyes still on me, making my heart jump and convulse.<p>

'Sleep well?' I ask, knowing that he probably didn't sleep at all by the red-rimmed eyes and the bags under them.

His eyes dropped and he turned his gaze away, shutting them. I catch a glimpse of red creeping up his cheeks before he turn away. I get off his bed and walk to the door. I open it and let myself out. I walk to my room and slip in, hoping nobody caught me doing that. Rumours spread like wildfire here. I lay on my bed and for the third time that night, fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I stay in my room until evening trying to read a book, but find that after an hour I'm still on the second page and I don't remember what I've read. I throw the book in frustration at the door. I've been thinking about Ren this entire morning. It was frustrating how I couldn't function unless he was on my mind. I slump back into my pillow, I turn my body until I'm lying on my belly and I grab my pillow, screaming into it. After I've let it out I feel much better, and exhausted. I hear the door open and lift my face slightly to see Mary. She tells me that dinners being served. I thank her and get up, fixing myself in the bathroom and make my way to the dining hall.<p>

Mrs. Sakura sits at the head of the table while Mr. Hugh's sits on her right. They're talking and laughing. I sit down across John, who was glaring daggers at me. Mr. Hugh tells me they were leaving the castle right after dinner. I groan, no matter how much I hated they're company; Mr. Hugh for his late night rumbles and John's nonsense and fumbling, they would leave me alone with Mrs. Sakura. She didn't beat me, but she would find every opportunity to degrade me. She looked at me with disgust, especially when she looked at my neck, where Mr. Takemura's puncture wounds lay. I would ignore her hateful gaze, because what else could I do?

I hear the door open and look up the see Ren enter. He seemed so out of place here, he was like a white sheep in a herd of black ones, there was some innocence in him that I wanted to protect from corrupt people that sat on the table. From the corner of my eyes I noticed John glareing at him as profoundly as he did to me. He came to at the chair right beside me. I blush, though I wanted him to sit somewhere else, I felt smug that he had left the chair beside Mrs. Sakura empty. Just as butterflies formed in my stomach, I heard Mrs. Sakura's voice.

'Ren, come sit by me.'

He seemed to hesitate pulling his chair, I picked at my salad, not knowing what he would do.

'Its fine,' he says, about to sit down.

'I insist,' her voice wasn't fake and sweet anymore, but hard and demanding. Ren got the idea and left the chair and went to sit beside her. A knot formed in my throat and I felt an empty yet heavy void inside me which I ignored.

I ignored them throughout the meal as they talked, Ren answering in a monotone voice, a single word answer. He didn't really eat anything just like before. Was there something wrong with his appetite? I thought to myself, worry grew inside me but I pushed it away. It wasn't my business. There was suddenly a dark expression on his face and I saw his jaw clench. I was so surprised at the change in his features that I dropped my fork, fortunately nobody noticed, John talked to Mr. Hugh who was too busy trying to catch Mrs. Sakura's attention, who was eye-raping Ren. I bent down and picked it up, I would have come right back up and continued eating but a movement made me stop. I saw Mrs. Sakura's long legs, crossed under the table, but that wasn't what stopped me, she moved the tip of her toes which were, unlike the other foot, bare of her heels, against Ren's leg. I couldn't describe the burning emotion that filled me. I was angry, more angry then I had ever been. All coherent thought was lost to me and I felt my throat clog with sheer hatred. That slut. It wasn't enough that she had Mr. Takemura, Mr. Hugh, John, several butlers, and other people to bed, but she had to have him as well. I felt tears prick my eyes and my nose tickle as I sauntered back up, straightening myself. I look towards them, the three of them still talking but Ren's eyes are on me, there are so many emotions swimming around them. I got more angry as the emotion of jealousy and envy inside me grew for a man I had met a few days ago. Who the hell are you? I demand to him with my eyes. His eyes grow pained. I've had enough. I get up the table, my chair screeching loudly, all their talk stops as they stare at me.

'I'm done, thank you for dinner,' I say through gritted teeth, before turning away and almost running out the door. I run to my room and close the door behind me. Sobs wrack my body, I feel so helpless that I fall in a heap on the floor beside my bed and lay my head on it. What were these feelings? They were so overpowering that I didn't know what to do about them. I calm down after a while and lie against the side of the bed. I've been crying a lot lately. I hear my door open, I turn to find Ren standing there. I don't move, my body is tired and I feel such a helpless lonliness that it leaves me stiff. I watch him close the door and walk towards me. My eyes are heavy, my body is numb and my mind is fuzzy. He kneels down next to me and pulls me into his arms. My eyes widen in surprise and my heart starts accelerating. Why did he do that? Why did my stomach fill with butterflies?Why did my thoughts go numb? Why did my heart react as it did?

I push his chest. I didn't know him, I tell myself, I didn't know him. He tightens his hold around me breathing hard down my neck.

'Yuki, please. Don't you remember me?'

I freeze. What did he say? I push him harder, reluctantly he lets me go. I stare into his eyes, they are pained and empty, but there is so much love there that I almost drown in them. Tears spring to my eyes again. This was all so confusing.

'What do you mean?' I ask, my voice breaking, 'Am I supposed to?'

My tears fall, I pull away from him but he grabs my wrists.

'Let me go.' I scream this time. I didn't care if anyone heard, I wanted to be left alone. I didn't want him to see me like this.

'Yuki, plea-'

'Stop saying my name. It hurts, you idiot. It hurts when you call my name. My heart can't take it. You look at me all the time, I feel your eyes on me and it hurts my heart. I don't know you, why do you have such an effect on me?'

My tears are flowing now, and I can't seem to stop them. I'm screaming but he doesn't care, he still has that pained look in his eyes. I close my eyes to him. Tears breaking free and flowing down.

'Stop crying,' he says, so softly my heart breaks.

'What am I to you?' I scream at him.

'Stop crying,' he says, snapping at me.

Before he even finished his sentence, his lips are on mine. I struggle against him, he pushes me against the bed, so my head lies back as he dominates the kiss, his head towers over me, he traps my wrists on either side of me. I lay limp as I feel the tingling in my lips and the thumping of my heart telling me that I want nothing more then to lie under this man forever. His lips mould into mine, they are gentle yet urgent as if he can't get enough, as if he's clinging. I moan against him. He kisses me harder. He pulls away slightly to let me catch my breath. Then he brings his face to mine again, this time I meet him half-way. I pushed my lips to his hungrily, he moans in the back of his throat, making me want more. His lips are so familiar, as if I've kissed them before. Suddenly I come back to reality, I didn't know him and here I was, no better than Mrs. Sakura, kissing a stranger. I pushed his chest.

'No,' I say against his lips. Immediately, I feel thin air where he was supposed to be. I look up to find that he listened to me and moved away. He's panting, his hands shake and lights play in his eyes, his face seems brighter.

'I'm not Mrs. Sakura, Ren, don't treat me like her.'

His eyes smoulder and his shoulder slump. He stares at me in a way that makes me believe that I'm the only person in this world that he loves. Then he turns away and goes to the door. He rests his hands on the knob and hesitates then turns to me.

'She could never have the effect that you have on me Yuki.'

He shuts the door, rendering me speechless.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**- A Chained Heart

I fall asleep easily because of my exhaustion. I don't remember what I dreamed about but I woke up crying the next morning. When I go down for breakfast Ren isn't there. When I inquire about his where about to Mary, she tells me she hasn't seen him. Mr. Hugh and Mr. Thornton had left so I was alone with Mrs. Sakura. She told me over breakfast that Mr. Takumi was coming back today. The whole meal, my eyes stayed downcast and I just nodded my head. I had never thought of these people as anything but humble for taking me in. Though I had my suspicions about the night Mr. Takemura found me and the questions he would avoid I tried to hide them in a little corner of my mind I never breeched. But now, visions of my past were occurring more frequently, and my dreams seemed more real, though I still couldn't see the face of the person who I would always dream about. Whenever I had these dreams I would wake up crying, I didn't know why though, I was so happy dreaming about it that my heart would be soaring. Maybe it was because I wanted those times to return, for the dreams to last forever, but that's all it was though. A dream.

I get up and excuse myself from the table as Mrs. Sakura starts ranting on about how she doesn't have a proper dress for her dear lover. I walk around the castle because I don't want to stay in my room and think, but I end up thinking anyway. About Ren. I knew he was a part of my past, but I didn't know how big a part he was. A brother, a friend, an acquaintance. He could be anything. I had to remember. _Remember_. I go out and walk outside through the forest until it's midday.

I return mentally exhausted from thinking to my room just as Mary comes and tells me Mr. Takemura is back, I thank her and go to take a shower. When I get out I wear a white dress that reaches my knees with beads adorning the neckline. My hair is wet so I leave it down. I'm about to leave the room when someone comes in. I turn and see Mr. Takemura, his hand on the door knob, a genuine smile on his face.

'Yuki, my dear,' he comes forward, closing the door. I plastered a smile that I hoped looked real to him as he reaches me. Taking hold of my shoulders, he kisses my forehead. 'How are you?'

I nod my head, bile rising in my throat. 'I'm fine Mr. Takemura, just a little tired,' I say, just in case I looked anything from my usual self.

His eyes appraise me and my stomach churns uncomfortably, he looks me over from head to toe and I feel naked. I smile at him, giving him a reason to keep his eyes on my face. He sighs, pulling me to him in an embrace. I stiffen, his action seem fake and cold. A strange sensation overtakes my body, I feel as if I've matured, as if I've realised something, a puzzle. I know why he is here. He pulls my hair aside, still holding me. I force my thoughts and heart to stop feeling as his hands move over my body, he leans down slightly and kisses the side of my neck. I close my eyes as he licks my skin. Then he plunges his fangs into my skin. I grunt but try not to make another sound as the pain takes over my entire body, making me light headed and weak. I can't think and I clench my hands into fists. Another image invades my mind, it's Mr. Takemura this time and the image is crystal clear. It's a small room and I can see a window from the corner of my eyes with it's curtains bellowing with the wind. It's night and he stands in front of me, light from the moon showers us both.

'_I will kill Zero if you don't listen to me.'_

My heart starts to beat eratically and my breathing becomes heavy as I become light-headed. What's happening? Did Mr. Takemura know Zero? I try to tell myself to calm down, I'll only hurt myself if I lose my control. He doesn't notice the internal struggle within me except for the incease in the flow of blood from my body to his mouth. I begin to push him away and he let's me go, though there is still a red tint in his eyes. I stare at him seriously. I needed to know and I couldn't bear to avoid it anymore.

'Who is Zero?'

He stiffens, I see his body become immobile for a second and I know my suspicions of Mr. Takemura being involved in my past are right. He looks at me and notices that I'm assessing his reaction. He relaxes and smiles, his eyes still hard.

'What are you talking about Yuki?'

'I've been having visions about a boy. His name is Zero.'

He shakes his head, looking amused but I see his jaw clench. 'Yuki, do you want me to take you to the doctor? Hallucinations are never a good sign.'

I step away from him, anger building inside me but I control myself. 'I'm not hallucinating. And I'm not crazy. I think I knew him from before. Before I came here. But you knew him too didn't you.'

I see him clench and unclench his hands, grinding his teeth together in repressed anger.

'Didn't you threaten to kill him.'

His eyes blaze into mine. I shiver at the impact they have over my body. Fear courses through me but I stand erect and glare back at him.

'Who is Zero?'

His lips turn into a thin line and they snarl at me, his fangs protruding, his eyes red. Shivers wrack my body and before I can blink, I'm pushed against the wall. My head bangs hard against it and my body falls limp. I see sparks appear before my eyes and I wait a few seconds to clear my vision. Another image invades my mind. I'm sitting across the same boy at what looks like an icecream parlour. I can't see his face, no matter how hard I try. Mr. Takemura appears in front of me and grabs my neck in a tight grip. He slams me against the wall, I scream out at the pain and feel an uncomfortable tinkle at the side of my head. His eyes glow red and he licks the blood flowing down my cheeks. I grunt in disgust and try to push him away but his grip is like metal.

'You should have stayed the way you were Yuki. Cute, ignorant Yuki. Then I would not have to kill you.'

My eyes widen and I try to push him again. His grip on my neck tightens and he flings me to the other side of the room as he would a bag of potatoes. I land on the table, spilling all the contents of my desk on the ground. I scream as the edges cut into the sides of my body. I try to stand up but fall in a heap on the ground. I take in gulps of air. I'm going to die. I wanted to lie here and let the end come. I couldn't move. I didn't want to. Let it come. I had nothing. What was the point in living anymore. Ren wasn't here. The only person I had come to care about. A tear slipped from my eyes as I realized that I had loved Ren. I smile as I remember his face, how he cared, how he acted, his blushing face, his smile, his kiss. Ah, his kiss. It felt that my entire life had been waiting for that one moment. His lips on mine. At that moment I was so happy to have these precious memories that I didn't mind dying. I hear his slow footsteps coming towards me. I don't move. He appears in front of me and he brings his face to mine. I feel numb. Ren's face is the only thing in my mind right now. The vampire brings his fangs to my neck again and bites. I clench my eyes and grit my teeth. He wasn't going to kill me just like that. He would make me suffer. He would suck me dry. Time seemed to stop, the saying that your life flashes before your eyes before you die is not a lie because that moment when I felt time stop I remembered every single moment I had had with Ren from the moment I opened the door to the moment he closed mine last night. Just as I felt my strength wane, my body becoming limp and my mind numbing, I remembered the first vision I had had when I was in Ren's arms.

'_I love you too Yuki.'_

My eyes shoot open as I see him. I see Zero and Ren. My Zero and my Ren. My heart thumps in revelation, my breathing coming out in gasps. Zero…Zero… I remember…Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. ZERO. ZERO. My heart explodes in my chest and memories flood into me like a waterfall. The chairman, Kaname, Yori, Mitsuki, Cross Academy, Yuki Cross, Zero. Sobs wrack my body at the weight of these memories. Where am I? where am I? I can't breath. Zero. He was here. Where is he? I have to go to Zero? He'll make everything better. I close my eyes, everything coming back to me in blinding flashes. I had seen him, not even a day ago. He was there, in front of me. I hadn't seen him for a year, a whole year I had been away from him. Tears sprung from my eyes as the hurt came upon me with the realization I had not felt before. I felt like I was falling. I had to leave, I had to get away. I wanted to see Zero. I try prying away from the vampire sucking my blood.

It's been a year, an entire year. Tears slip from my eyes, the vampire on top of me extracts his fangs and leans back up to look at my face. He places a hand gently against my cheek. And looks me in the eye.

I want to hurt him like I've never wanted to hurt anyone in my entire life, it boiled and over-flowed inside me. He had taken me away. He had kidnapped me and here he was drinking from me as if it's the most natural thing to do. I look him straight in the eye, tears still flowing down.

'I wanted to be with you forever.'

My hand finds something that had dropped from the desk and without a second thought I plunge it into the side of his neck. His eyes widen and he falls back. I will my weak body to move with the advantage of the element of surprise. I sway of my feet and the world turns upside down in my eyes but I make my way to the door. I don't look back as I run down the hallway. My knees buckle and it takes everything I have not to fall over myself. There is a coat of armour decorated in a vacant hallway, I remove the sword from it and hold it against me if I needed to defend myself. My clothes are sticky with sweat and blood. And its becoming harder to run when I know how stronger my predator is and in this kind of situation, he has the upper hand. I come to the stairs and sigh in relief. The door was just below the stairs and if I was fast enough I could get out since it was still morning and the vampire hated the sun. I quicken my steps. Suddenly a blow lands directly on my side, knocking me breathless. My eyes blind with the impact and I land on the floor with Usui standing in top of me. He's holding an envelope opener and his wound is healed, though blood steins are still visible. That must have been what I stabbed him with.

'You've made me very angry,' he says through clenched teeth. I try to get up but he suddenly plunges the knife into my shoulder missing my heart by a few inches. For a second my brain registers what has happened and then the pain takes over my entire body and I scream in agony. I push away from him. My instincts still in control and, with the pain of the stab, topple down the stairs. My breathing is heavy and I fall on my stomach at the bottom step. I hear him take one step after another. They echo and I know he does this to scare me. The sadistic monster. I move on my stomach to try and reach the door. Every inch I move send another agonizing pain through my shoulder so much so that I feel that I'm about to pass out. Just as I reach the door he puts his foot on my back, I lay my head down. I knew, from the beginning it was pointless, but I still fought.

'Good bye Yuki.'

I close my eyes and Zero appears in my mind. He's smiling at me

'_Your so stupid Yuki.' _

I'm angry but his smile melts all my anger, worry, hate, stress away and leaves me filled to the brim with love for him. He'd never know I remembered him. He'd be heart-broken. I finally understand the pain in his eyes every time they met mine, the agony and the battle behind his gaze. Tears slip from my eyes as I await my death. There's a gunshot and my eyes fly open.

'Don't you dare touch her.'

So much venom and hate. There could only be one person I know in this entire world who could muster that much hate. I look up to find Zero standing behind Usui, his gun raised to his head. Usui eyes widen with surprise. Zero's eyes meet mine and his eyes widen as he takes me in; my hair plastered to my face with blood, my white clothes smeared with blood, my face a mixture of fear and exhaustion and relief. My body fills with relief and I suddenly feel light as a feather, my injury forgotten. His eyes burning red in anger.

'Zero.'

He freezes. His eyebrows coming together in confusion for a few seconds. Tears leak out of my eyes. The world seems quiet suddenly. Usui stands stock still with the gun still pointed to his head.

'Yuk-'

He didn't get to finish the sentence before he's pushed to the wall, his gun falling to the ground in a loud clank. Usui has Zero against the wall with a tight grip on his neck. I try to stand but I have lost to much blood and I feel like lead. It feels like the world is on top of me and death comes as a relief for me. My eyes close as im about to pass out. I open my eyes as I hear a grunt coming from Zero. What was I doing? Why was I always so useless to Zero? I couldn't let him die. It takes everything I have to lift myself up and I crawl to the discarded gun lying a few feet away from me. Usui probably thought I was dead or he was too intent on killing Zero that he didn't notice me as I reach the gun and point it to his back. I had never used a gun but Zero had said something when he had told me to kill him.

'_Hold the gun with both hands and aim straight. Aim for the center.'_

Could I really do it? I ask myself.

'_It's not a crime to kill a vampire.'_

Before my brain can assess this, my body acts on its own and I shoot before I realize. The mansion echos the effects of the shot. I look to the two fighting. Usui has frozen, they are both breathing hard. I can't move. Usui let's Zero go and turns to me, I see the gunshot, plain as daylight on his back, directly on his heart. I see flakes of ash leave his fingertips and his hair. He looks down on his hands and back up at me. Suddenly, his entire body fades in flash and whats left is a pile of ash and his clothes, bellowing to the ground. Zero stares at his remain then suddenly whips his head in my direction. I can't believe I'm seeing him, I can't believe he's here. I thought I would never see him again. My heart fills and I can't help the tears that leak out of my eyes. Zero's forehead strains and his face contorts in pain. I take a step forward, dropping the gun. My body fails me and I land on my knees. He runs to me and I reach out my hand, tears falling from my eyes. My vision goes black as he reaches me, holding my body to his like a plank. He is here.

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><p><strong>(AN) sorry for the late upload. i had a sudden case of writers block :C mourn for me my minions. anyways ummm this chapters not really editted so if theres any mistakes i dont know how to correct them *a disgrace to all that is fanfic*anyways, love you, review, yay for summer**


	16. Chapter 16

**(A/N)yes i know, you have the right to hang me, butcher me, drown me, decapitate me etc. im sorry for the late upload -_- forgive me. i love you all. As an apology i have posted another story, well its basically a one shot called 'Light the Night with Stars'. Check it out homies. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>- Breathing and Heartbeats

I'm dreaming. I tell myself to wake up, I force myself. Zero is here. I want to see Zero. I know who he is and he's okay and I'm okay. I smile through my dream and my eyes open to a pale beige ceiling. I blink a few times and look around. I hear the sound of beeping and look towards the source. it's a machine measuring my heart rate, there are uncomfortable tubes in my nose and my hands. I'm in a hospital. I figet from my uncomfortable postion and let out a moan at the pain on my shoulders. I feel movement and look down to find Zero sleeping with his head on the bed, inches from my hands. Tears spring to my eyes and my nose twitches at the oncoming waterworks. I try to control them but it's impossible and a quiet sob escapes me. Zero's eyes open and he lifts his head, his eyes stare at me for a second before he springs to his feet and stands over me. His eyes are red and there are dark bags around them. His face is pale and he looks skinny. Skinnier then I last saw him a year ago. Oh God, an entire year. Another sob escapes and Zero takes my face between his hands.

'Yuki, what is it? What's wrong?'

I try to speak but a lump lays heavy in my throat. My body shudders in uncontrollable sobs. I lift my hands to his and hold them against my cheek, savoring their warmth and strength. My body instantly calms. I don't want to let him go, I look at him. There is uncertainty behind his gaze. He doesn't know what to do, the same look he had when I hadn't remembered him. Did he realize I remember him and that before when I had called for him I wasn't delusional or in a trance.

'Zero,' I say, my voice cracking. He looks at my face then down to my wound, his features contort in pain as he takes me in. I place my palm against his cheek. He looks at me, tears glistening in his eyes and his bottom lip quivers ever so slightly. 'I remember.'

A single tear falls from his eyes and he pulls me to his arms. I cry into his arms, he shakes in repressed tears over me.

'Zero, I love you. I love you so much.' I kiss his cheek, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me full in the mouth. His lips are hungry and rough and I return it with the same amount of raphor. The pain in my shoulder suddenly seems to intensify as I try to pull him as close to me as possible. I let out a grunt. He pulls back to look at me.

'He stabbed me,' I say, my hands on my shoulders. He nods and leans away slightly but I keep him to me. I remember my injuries and ask Zero the inevitable.

'How did you explain the puncture wounds?'

He seems to be in a trance, like my words take him a while longer to figure out. He clears his throat.

'The one who took care of you was a vampire. I explained the situation to him before they took you in. He erased the memory of any human in the operation theatre,' he comforts me.

I stare at him, barely registering his words. I feel light headed and every detail of the room seems to intensify so much that I feel like I'll pass out again. It felt like a dream, Zero was here, beside me, I was holding him, looking at him. The sun is setting outside and I suddenly feel tired again.

'I looked for you,' He whispers to me.

I look to him. He stands over me, his hands holding mine with enough pressure to hurt me but the pain kept reminding me he was here so I didn't mind. His hair covered his eyes. His hair's grown as long as Ichiru's, I thought to myself. I see him clench his jaw and grind his teeth. He was trying to control himself.

'I looked for you, I searched everywhere. Nobody knew where you were. I- I- couldn't belive you were gone,' he pauses and inhales deeply, 'Kuran told me about Usui's palace. That's how I found you,' he spits out Usui's name with enough venom to make me cringe. 'I'm so- I'm sorry I couldn't protect you,' he brings his hand to his face and covers it, I feel my tears fall heedlessly. He was hurting, even I could tell, he had struggled this entire year. It had been easier for me because I didn't remember anything, but Zero had to live with the memory of us and the possibility of finding me gone from this world. I sob silently and tug at his hand, he resists but then leans down to me. Tears fall from his eyes and drop from his chin.

'I'm sorry I couldn't save you sooner. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so happy your alive. So happy your safe.'

I wrap my arms around him tightly, holding him to me. He wraps both arms around me. Both of us are silent and relish in each others presence. I didn't know what to say, so I said what I felt in my heart then.

'Zero, I love you and I always will. I'll never leave you again.'

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><p>We return to the academy. Zero had called the chairman my first night at the hospital and explained the situation to him. he had offered to come but Zero had told him I needed rest. I would fall in and out of consciousness and every time I woke, I'd find Zero staring at me, a gleam in his eyes that made my heart thump and my insides churn telling me I was the only girl he would ever love. i was released after a month, the doctor told me to take it easy. We took the train home. He wouldn't let go of my hand the whole ride. My heart wouldn't stop thumping. When we finally got off and took a taxi to the academy, it was night time. I walk in front of Zero and every time I would turn around to him, his mouth would ravage mine, his need as strong as mine.<p>

The chairman was waiting for us at the doorway and pulled me into a hug before I could even speak. He wouldn't let me go because he said he didn't want me to see his tears. I wrap my arms around him and cry on his shoulder. Relief filling me like cool water on a scorching day. Kaname was there as well and I didn't hesitate in embracing him. Zero had told me that Kaname was the one who had told him about Usui's whereabouts. I whispered a thank you to him and he held me tighter. Yori and Mitsuki came after a little while, Yori burst into tears which made me cry as well, but smile at the happiness of the moment. Mitsuki tried to hide her tears but after a moment let them fall. We all hugged and cried, though everybody was crying, this was one of the happiest moments of my life. I was finally reunited with my family. And Zero. I turn to look at him, tears still streaming down. He was looking at me, standing beside the door.

'He brought you back didn't he?'

I turn to Yori, she stares at me with knowing eyes. I nod, a smile that I couldn't remove making its way to my face. Yori kissed my cheek and nods at Zero. I turn to Zero and make my way towards him. He pushes himself from the door and reaches for my hand. He leads me to the dining table where the chairman has prepared dinner. Everybody sits around the table and I tell them what had happened to me, leaving out the part of vampires for Yori and Mitsuki, telling them I had lost my memory because I hit my head instead. They nod and listen to me through my tale. It feels as if I'm telling them a story, it doesn't feel like it was me that had lived through that for an entire year. Zero's eyes are on me and mine hardly move from his. It feels so good to be back, my heart soars and I have to hold back my tears for more than half the meal.

After they're all finished, they say goodbye to me and leave me and Zero alone. The chairman had found out about us dating when Zero had told him a year ago, after I was taken. The chairman had almost cried seeing us together, he was sad and happy. Sad because I was growing up (his words not mine), and happy because he was glad about our relationship.

Zero leads me to the all to familiar room where I had given myself to him, where he had transformed into a human, where I had spent nights lying in his arms. He leads me to the bed and pulls the covers away. He pulls off his shirt and pants and I take off everything, leaving my underwear, bra and undershirt on. He lays down and I do the same. I lay my head on his arm, my chest to him, our breathings and our heartbeats match. he wraps me in his chest and we lie there, not talking and not moving. I feel such a surge of emotions just laying here near him that I feel I can live forever, an eternity in his arms. I let tears fall from my eyes. I love him so much. He holds me tighter, his breathing becoming hard. Quiet sobs wrack my body as the loneliness, abandonment, and helplessness I felt through the year I had been separate from him close in on me. And the loneliness. God the loneliness. Even when I didn't remember, there was always my heart that would contract or ache and I didn't know what it had ached for. But now I was back, and he was here. I lay my head on and with tears still sliding down my face, I go to sleep.

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><p><strong>(AN) This is i guess the last chapter. and now for the oscar speech, i'm so glad i finished this. thank you everyone for supporting me and for the reviews and the favorites. i love you all i could never have done this without you, the story would literally be moulding away in my computer but you guys encouraged me to keep writing and posting. I F**KING LOVE YOU ALL. hugs and kisses to all of you. lets raise our glass to a happy ending.** **_****ZEKI LOVE FOREVER*****_**


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